Hello Everyone!!
Or, maybe I should say Mabutay (Tagalog)...
Right now it is about 5:30 am in Manila, Philippines, and I am still not completely adjusted to the time zone haha. Everyone else in our apartment thing is sleeping except me, so I found this the perfect time to update since noone is on skype!
Our flight from Hawaii to Manila was about 10 and a half hours, and it was so, so long. Usually I'm pretty lucky, too with the movies that play in the airplane, because I never go to the movie theaters like ever. So I usually have never seen any of the movies they decide to play. This time, I saw 2 out of the 3 movies they decided to play, and then on the second connecting flight they replayed one of those movies! So I had like nothing to do for quite awhile, because it's so uncomfortable to sleep on the airplanes, always. No matter HOW comfy the seats are!
We finally landed in Manila, and I swear it has been nonstop bickering for my sister and I. I'm just so happy to be here, and she is seriously picking at absolutely everything, so we're fighting just like we're ten again. The first "huge" fight believe it or not started from our beds. We all have our own rooms which is cool since we got one the apartment suites at the hotel here. but anyway. My dad and my sister like completely deserted my mom, aunt, and I in the lobby so we had no idea where to go to the room (my dad claims he was calling 5 times, but I guess for once in about her entire life my sister was the only one paying any attention, haha. After all she got the most sleep out of all of us on the flights ha.). They were at the room long before us, so finally we had to find our own way. I make this sound confusing because; this was one of those hotels where it really depends on the elevator you take and which area the elevator's in to be in the right area. It's broken into different wings and stuff. My dad says it's just like the Ritz-Carlton in Chicago, which I have not stayed out but he has. It's basically like you take one elevator from the lobby to go somewhere, and once you get off that elevator you have to go to a different one on a different part of that new floor to get to your room.
So enough of the elevator talk. Once we got to the room, I was like "Oh okay this is nice!" and stuff, I'm excited. Then I'm trying to find everyone, and my sister is laying, completely sprawled out on her bed like a star face up. I didn't think anything of it since we were all pretty tired; so when I look to find the only room available, of course she picked one of the largest rooms, leaving me with the smallest room with a twin sized bed. Hers was a big bed. I know I shouldnt' complain since, hey; this is an apartment suite and we all have our own rooms. But it's just kindof annoying I guess, because I know that if I were to have claimed that room first, she would have thrown a fit to my dad saying she was older and he would have given her the room. And everywhere we go, I always get the pull out couch bed if our room isn't big enough, and she gets the extra bed. I just wish sometime I could be favored once in a while and get the nicer thing. I even said which was true, "I have been sleeping on a twin size bed since August (which she hasn't because she's at a house in Tucson with a REGULAR sized bed) and you still couldn't let me sleep on this bed for even a couple weeks?" But of course to ALL of our complete surprise, she didnt' care at all, only about her and what she wants. I sometimes don't understand how her boyfriend is still with her, ha.
My mom actually later on when we were talking about beds and stuff again, said "Michelle you probably should've let Tiffany get the bigger bed because she has been sleeping on a tiny bed, and then she has to again here." Want to know what my sister did? Nothing. It was almost like she scoffed. Didn't care at all. I bet that if one of her friends who doesn't treat her nearly as nice as I do wanted the big bed, she'd give it up in a second. But if it comes to anything about me, I'd be the last person on earth to be fed or given anything.
Then, that same night, I used the other side of a huge body towel to dry my face that she has used, and she threw a fit! Somehow, like always, she is able to make my parents believe it is me in the wrong, but honestly I don't know how she did it this time. She even kicked me out of the bathroom, and still my dad was getting mad at me. Maybe it's because they think she's some perfect virgin who doesn't party (Which she doesn't party or anythign like that ever) but man I wish they knew haha. I don't know how she does it.
Really through any argument we have had, my dad doesn't even have to know what she's complaining about and he's already on her side. It annoys me so much, and it's so obvious how much he favors her.
Well, enough about her. I could start a whole new blog on all the complaints i have of my sister, but I simply will not waste my time to talk about her further.
So it's my third day. I have to think back to the first day here... It was all travel, but we did go out to eat at the hotel restaurant which was good. All I have been drinking here since I got here is Calamansi juice, which is a fruit here kindof like a lime but SO much better!
Yesterday was our first full day, so we got up at around 6:45 (willingly, it was actually pretty easy to) and ate breakfast and walked to SM, which is an 8 story mall that is also extremely large on each floor. Basically, biggest mall I've ever been to. Apparently, today we are going to the biggest mall in Asia which happens to be in the Philippines. Yes, anyone who is reading out there that is shocked that Philippines is in Asia. It actually annoys me when people claim and argue with me that it is not in Asia at all. They actually try and argue with someone that is half Asian, with a mom that's full. Then, when I've finally convinced the person that it indeed is in Asia or that it is an Asian country, they go, "Oh- well it's not REALLY completely Asian then."
WHAT?! is that a joke? How does one classify how ASIAN one part of Asia is to the other? As far as I knew, it's as Asian as you can get. I mean, it's sort of like Hawaii, where different parts of of places were 'invaded' by different cultures, or even in a bigger picture, it's sort of like the US in that same way. But that doesn't make it not American because we are all from different cultures. It's not as broad of a mix of cultures like America is, it's like; going back to the history I think Spanish, Chinese, etc. But hey they still have all the slit eye babies which I am absolutely in LOVE with!!! I met my two younger cousins yesterday which one is the sweetest little girl I have ever met in my life, and the other, Jianna, is a BRAT! She is "si arte", which means girly, prim, acts into herself, sortof thing. Just conceited. Want to know how old Jianna is? 2. She is TWO, and already being like that. One of those little girl who uses crying to get what she wants, and gets jealous super, super easy. She has the cutest face ever, pouty all the time; but god is she a brat haha. MJ, the older one who is 6 now, is adorable, and absolutely perfect. And she can shake her little booty, too! I was surprised, haha.
I still haven't had my long wanted pan de sal yet, which is their type of bread roll here. Yes, it is definitely better than French bread, baguettes, anything. It is soft, warm, and has the right amount of everything that bread should have. I love it, although I'll have to try not to eat it too excessively haha! Bread is definitely my weakness.
Well, I think that's about it. Today I know we're going to that big mall, and some place on the beach or something where the fish clean your feet. It sounds absolutely disgusting, especially to me; someone who is as foot phobe as you can get. I guess it's a fun thing to do here that tourists and others do. I guess it feels cool or something (Which i'm sure it does).
I am done for now, but I will try and be back to update again tomorrow or sometime.
I already miss home, but I love it here. I hope everyone is enjoying themselves, and all that have time off are using it well! <3
XOX
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Nutso Christmas Preparation
I went NUTS today Christmas shopping today with my mom! I think we hit up every single store in Prescott! (God what am I, ghetto now? "HIT UP!")
She actually dropped me off to shop so we could go to Costco, which worked in my convenience because I could shop for her!
It was funny because when it was time to check out, she was with me, and I made her give me her credit card because she was actually paying for her gift at that moment - I just hid it haha.
My mom tried to act annoyed and say things like, "Why can't I look I AM paying for it!" , but I know she was happy and excited on the inside to know she was getting Christmas presents. :)
Time just FLEW by once I got home; We got back by probably 9:20, and I didn't stop wrapping presents till a little after midnight! I still have to wrap for three more people....
I think I'm finally off to bed though, now.
I can't believe I went so long during December without the Christmas spirit & fever.. It's all around me now! I also listen to my Glee Holiday cd every time I'm in the car, too haha.
Speaking of great holiday songs, I highly, highly recommend "Straight No Chaser" - an Indiana University A Capella group. They do both amazing harmonies and hilarious holiday arrangements that I don't think anyone can't enjoy listening to. So go check them out!
Here's a start to our holiday Christmas presents, and a video of a favorite Straight No Chaser of mine :)
Happy Holidays!!! <3
xox
She actually dropped me off to shop so we could go to Costco, which worked in my convenience because I could shop for her!
It was funny because when it was time to check out, she was with me, and I made her give me her credit card because she was actually paying for her gift at that moment - I just hid it haha.
My mom tried to act annoyed and say things like, "Why can't I look I AM paying for it!" , but I know she was happy and excited on the inside to know she was getting Christmas presents. :)
Time just FLEW by once I got home; We got back by probably 9:20, and I didn't stop wrapping presents till a little after midnight! I still have to wrap for three more people....
I think I'm finally off to bed though, now.
I can't believe I went so long during December without the Christmas spirit & fever.. It's all around me now! I also listen to my Glee Holiday cd every time I'm in the car, too haha.
Speaking of great holiday songs, I highly, highly recommend "Straight No Chaser" - an Indiana University A Capella group. They do both amazing harmonies and hilarious holiday arrangements that I don't think anyone can't enjoy listening to. So go check them out!
Here's a start to our holiday Christmas presents, and a video of a favorite Straight No Chaser of mine :)
Happy Holidays!!! <3
xox
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Oh, what a night. Story tangents trailing...
This morning at around almost 2 am, my brother began texting and calling me, asking "Hey if you come pick me up at the bars right now I'll buy you breakfast - I'm hungry!" etc etc, so that was enough for me. Not like I need food to bribe me to go pick him up; I do anyway! I'd rather I drive him than him getting a ride from a cab.
Anyway, I didn't realize how popular Denny's was for bar-goers at 2 am. My brother then added that every older person you see coming in was from the bars on Whiskey Row. Whiskey Row by the way is this part in downtown Prescott that is just bar after bar. So my brother pointed out for me all the cougars, ho-fa-shos, d-bags, and other categories which actually turned out to be fun, because I started to guess what people were haha. I even pointed out some people that could be on the next season of Jersey Shore - gross. I really enjoyed myself, even if at first I was half awake. My brother and I talked about alot, lots of gossip which was actually a different kind of gossip that I usually partake in, considering it was with a guy. I also shared some problems of mine with my brother, including my ridiculous curfew at age 18 - Yes, everyone I do have a curfew - it JUST got bumped to midnight when I turned 18 haha. before that it was 10/10:30. Kindof sad, and my brother actually said he was probably going to have a talk with them because of the restrictions they still have on me, at my age.
You'd think that I'm some like horrible slut child who screws everything that walks; they're trying to somehow preserve me or something. My parents have already told me they think I'm some "wild child", which in all reality, that means I'm normal and that I can strike up conversation with people. Something my parents weren't used to seeing my brother or sister doing. I guess my personality is very similar to my dad's; he is a very affable person, and can literally become friends with anyone. He has become friends with just about every waiter we have at restaurants, Costco staff (since our parents shop there probably just about every day), the list goes on. I feel like I should take pride in the fact that since about my Junior year, I've been able to be like that; talk to anyone, and not feel scared shitless. They make me feel like that's bad, like it's not good to be talking to anyone. I remember times during early high school when I'd come home, and the first thing my sister would say to me was, "So who was that guy that hugged you in the hall today?" or, "Who was that different guy you were talking to?", or the infamous, "Who was the guys I saw you flirting with today?" It was seriously almost like she was destined to make me a caged rabbit for my high school social life. That only fueled my parents to make further restrictions; up until my Junior year I was home by 9 pm, and I wasn't allowed to hang out on weekends. And all that did was just make me act up, and be a nuisance. I literally would do exactly the opposite of what my parents would tell me to do in any situation, and that obviously didn't help my case.
The things I went through in high school with my parents - I don't know how I coped with it. Actually I do. I wrote a TON. I almost finished 2 diaries, and then that was even invaded I remember - all my thoughts, secrets, crushes, just complete privacy was taken away, invaded, and stomped all over. Next thing I knew, my mom was asking me, "Who's sam? Is that the guy that you danced with at homecoming?" (thinking it was this guy, when really it was another sam, a sam whose mom she had been friends with since him and I were about 4 haha.) "Who's Jesse? Do you two text alot? Do you send pictures to eachother? Are you dating?" And everything started adding up. Various journal entries were resurfacing, things I definitely was not okay with them knowing - after all, that's what a diary is meant for... privacy. I remember as soon as I realized they read my diary, I had this burning feeling. I was seething; just livid. It felt like my body was honestly the color scarlet red, that's how hot I felt. At the same time though, I felt embarrassment. It was like that heated embarrassment feeling in your face that you get if say, you rip your pants in front of the whole school during your first dance at a pep assembly with the dance team in high school - OH WAIT I've done that!!!
I didn't know if I should let them know, or keep it to myself. I did for awhile, and like every normal American teenager, I raged at one point and let it all unleash, like some bear haha. It destroyed my relationship with my parents, and I never trusted them again after that.
It all didn't turn around until I started to date Tyler, because I realized I couldn't have a relationship with someone else without having a relationship with my parents first. Maybe I'll do a "first date post" of mine and tyler's first date, because that's a long enough story I deem worthy of having it's own post.
Anyway, my parents and I get along fine now, but they still don't really trust me. I'm coping, I think. :)
On to worse points of my evening, I don't think I could say I've ever really yelled at Tyler until yesterday night. I must've yelled so loudly (and for so long, God.) because my head is still throbbing right now, and it is 11:28 am. God damn, must be the asian background in me. I actually do think most Asian parents scream alot, because my good friend in college who's Asian had literally the same growing up experiences (like IDENTICAL!) like I did. Unfortunately. And both of us have 100% asian parent/s. SOOO, on a more unfortunate note I did unleash my little angry Asian woman in me last night, screaming,crying, whatever little crazy Asian ladies do. Now just to note this, I feel I can make fun of Asian ladies because I am Asian myself. So if I catch any of you saying anything bad about Asians, I'll kick your ass. Haha.
Hopefully Tyler's okay? Our argument did continue to this morning (not through all night or anything).
I feel as though I probably shouldn't end such a lengthy, juicy post, or really any of my negative feeling posts .. negatively. Like I actually have in the past. So maybe I should end this on a good note. I think Tyler's coming over, and hopefully we'll watch a movie and be happy again. Because I miss him dearly, even if he's the #1 thing that pisses me off the most in this world. Afterall, he's also the #1 thing that makes me the happiest, too.
Strange.
xox
Anyway, I didn't realize how popular Denny's was for bar-goers at 2 am. My brother then added that every older person you see coming in was from the bars on Whiskey Row. Whiskey Row by the way is this part in downtown Prescott that is just bar after bar. So my brother pointed out for me all the cougars, ho-fa-shos, d-bags, and other categories which actually turned out to be fun, because I started to guess what people were haha. I even pointed out some people that could be on the next season of Jersey Shore - gross. I really enjoyed myself, even if at first I was half awake. My brother and I talked about alot, lots of gossip which was actually a different kind of gossip that I usually partake in, considering it was with a guy. I also shared some problems of mine with my brother, including my ridiculous curfew at age 18 - Yes, everyone I do have a curfew - it JUST got bumped to midnight when I turned 18 haha. before that it was 10/10:30. Kindof sad, and my brother actually said he was probably going to have a talk with them because of the restrictions they still have on me, at my age.
You'd think that I'm some like horrible slut child who screws everything that walks; they're trying to somehow preserve me or something. My parents have already told me they think I'm some "wild child", which in all reality, that means I'm normal and that I can strike up conversation with people. Something my parents weren't used to seeing my brother or sister doing. I guess my personality is very similar to my dad's; he is a very affable person, and can literally become friends with anyone. He has become friends with just about every waiter we have at restaurants, Costco staff (since our parents shop there probably just about every day), the list goes on. I feel like I should take pride in the fact that since about my Junior year, I've been able to be like that; talk to anyone, and not feel scared shitless. They make me feel like that's bad, like it's not good to be talking to anyone. I remember times during early high school when I'd come home, and the first thing my sister would say to me was, "So who was that guy that hugged you in the hall today?" or, "Who was that different guy you were talking to?", or the infamous, "Who was the guys I saw you flirting with today?" It was seriously almost like she was destined to make me a caged rabbit for my high school social life. That only fueled my parents to make further restrictions; up until my Junior year I was home by 9 pm, and I wasn't allowed to hang out on weekends. And all that did was just make me act up, and be a nuisance. I literally would do exactly the opposite of what my parents would tell me to do in any situation, and that obviously didn't help my case.
The things I went through in high school with my parents - I don't know how I coped with it. Actually I do. I wrote a TON. I almost finished 2 diaries, and then that was even invaded I remember - all my thoughts, secrets, crushes, just complete privacy was taken away, invaded, and stomped all over. Next thing I knew, my mom was asking me, "Who's sam? Is that the guy that you danced with at homecoming?" (thinking it was this guy, when really it was another sam, a sam whose mom she had been friends with since him and I were about 4 haha.) "Who's Jesse? Do you two text alot? Do you send pictures to eachother? Are you dating?" And everything started adding up. Various journal entries were resurfacing, things I definitely was not okay with them knowing - after all, that's what a diary is meant for... privacy. I remember as soon as I realized they read my diary, I had this burning feeling. I was seething; just livid. It felt like my body was honestly the color scarlet red, that's how hot I felt. At the same time though, I felt embarrassment. It was like that heated embarrassment feeling in your face that you get if say, you rip your pants in front of the whole school during your first dance at a pep assembly with the dance team in high school - OH WAIT I've done that!!!
I didn't know if I should let them know, or keep it to myself. I did for awhile, and like every normal American teenager, I raged at one point and let it all unleash, like some bear haha. It destroyed my relationship with my parents, and I never trusted them again after that.
It all didn't turn around until I started to date Tyler, because I realized I couldn't have a relationship with someone else without having a relationship with my parents first. Maybe I'll do a "first date post" of mine and tyler's first date, because that's a long enough story I deem worthy of having it's own post.
Anyway, my parents and I get along fine now, but they still don't really trust me. I'm coping, I think. :)
On to worse points of my evening, I don't think I could say I've ever really yelled at Tyler until yesterday night. I must've yelled so loudly (and for so long, God.) because my head is still throbbing right now, and it is 11:28 am. God damn, must be the asian background in me. I actually do think most Asian parents scream alot, because my good friend in college who's Asian had literally the same growing up experiences (like IDENTICAL!) like I did. Unfortunately. And both of us have 100% asian parent/s. SOOO, on a more unfortunate note I did unleash my little angry Asian woman in me last night, screaming,crying, whatever little crazy Asian ladies do. Now just to note this, I feel I can make fun of Asian ladies because I am Asian myself. So if I catch any of you saying anything bad about Asians, I'll kick your ass. Haha.
Hopefully Tyler's okay? Our argument did continue to this morning (not through all night or anything).
I feel as though I probably shouldn't end such a lengthy, juicy post, or really any of my negative feeling posts .. negatively. Like I actually have in the past. So maybe I should end this on a good note. I think Tyler's coming over, and hopefully we'll watch a movie and be happy again. Because I miss him dearly, even if he's the #1 thing that pisses me off the most in this world. Afterall, he's also the #1 thing that makes me the happiest, too.
Strange.
xox
Thursday, December 16, 2010
End of Semester is Finally Here...
So I haven't written in a while.
I've just been completely preoccupied with school - I had a final EVERY day during finals week, and even had 2 finals before finals week started so I was a busy girl!!
I have just finished packing up my room and am leaving for good! Well, until January.
I have so much planned for the break still.. I can't wait to catch up with all my friends mostly, go christmas shopping, and the Philippines! Ah, it's going to be great. I'm also planning on working out a ton, because I really let myself go during this first semester of college, haha. In retrospect, I did pretty well with keeping myself together than most did.. I got almost straight A's and my social life plunged, but I did remain eating healthy. Even if I still gained the weight of a newborn baby, haha.
I sometimes find myself wondering what would've happened if I didn't stay in state; where I would've gone. I think I would have either tried for Redlands in California, or somewhere in the East because that's where all the happenings are.
I reflected back on what I accomplished this semester, and I couldn't muster up like a huge lengthy list as I would've hoped... no. Well, I accomplished not failing any classes, for one (well i didn't fail at all, or close haha.).. I managed to somehow deplete my social skills into some area that I will probably reacquire once I've figured out the hang of things in college...
I have also been thinking, "is it bad that I am going to college just to GET a degree?"
I don't know how to describe it. I don't know where I'm going to end up in life, if I'll even be teaching. After being around so many good musicians, I realized how much more one can do with their musical talent. I just don't think I have that much motivation to be practicing as much as they do. I dont think it means I don't want it as bad, who knows - I just feel like I dont have that motivation to practice all day, in a sense of just wasting my life away practicing. What will that do for you? Yeah, it'll just make you a better musician. But what about all the other things one could do with all that time they practiced? I think that's great that people can dedicate themselves like that, but I don't think I could. I feel like my purpose in life isn't to just practice all day, in a selfish notion to make myself better, for myself. Who else will that benefit? I want to help people, do good. Not just perform for me, get better so I can say "Ahhh performance degree this and that, I'm good enough to just perform."
Ever since I've been here at ASU though, I really miss dance, and I really miss acting. Violin has always been rewarding, but I'm not sure if it's always been quite as fun as acting and dancing was for me. The fun I get out of violin is when I win competitions. That's like my golden happiness, of pure fu*king joy. Is that really it? That's what my life is about, winning from playing an instrument?
I think that's why I've decided to get an education degree, because I think I know now that I don't have to keep winning competitions to know that I've accomplished myself with violin. At the same time though, I don't think I want to be a teacher for the rest of my life, either. Where does all those years of dancing and theatre come in? I think those two would be so fun and .... exhilarating. A de-stresser. Violin is usually a stress inducer, especially around lesson time or juries this semester - I broke out so much ( thats like the key indication of any type of stress for me. And the fact that when I eat something [which i overeat when stressed] goes straight to my ass). Not that I don't love violin, but I feel like I should be getting more out of it .. more SATISFACTION. Maybe I'm just not working hard enough.
On that note, my time at home so far has been extremely relaxing and full of family time. I have missed being home so much.
xox
I've just been completely preoccupied with school - I had a final EVERY day during finals week, and even had 2 finals before finals week started so I was a busy girl!!
I have just finished packing up my room and am leaving for good! Well, until January.
I have so much planned for the break still.. I can't wait to catch up with all my friends mostly, go christmas shopping, and the Philippines! Ah, it's going to be great. I'm also planning on working out a ton, because I really let myself go during this first semester of college, haha. In retrospect, I did pretty well with keeping myself together than most did.. I got almost straight A's and my social life plunged, but I did remain eating healthy. Even if I still gained the weight of a newborn baby, haha.
I sometimes find myself wondering what would've happened if I didn't stay in state; where I would've gone. I think I would have either tried for Redlands in California, or somewhere in the East because that's where all the happenings are.
I reflected back on what I accomplished this semester, and I couldn't muster up like a huge lengthy list as I would've hoped... no. Well, I accomplished not failing any classes, for one (well i didn't fail at all, or close haha.).. I managed to somehow deplete my social skills into some area that I will probably reacquire once I've figured out the hang of things in college...
I have also been thinking, "is it bad that I am going to college just to GET a degree?"
I don't know how to describe it. I don't know where I'm going to end up in life, if I'll even be teaching. After being around so many good musicians, I realized how much more one can do with their musical talent. I just don't think I have that much motivation to be practicing as much as they do. I dont think it means I don't want it as bad, who knows - I just feel like I dont have that motivation to practice all day, in a sense of just wasting my life away practicing. What will that do for you? Yeah, it'll just make you a better musician. But what about all the other things one could do with all that time they practiced? I think that's great that people can dedicate themselves like that, but I don't think I could. I feel like my purpose in life isn't to just practice all day, in a selfish notion to make myself better, for myself. Who else will that benefit? I want to help people, do good. Not just perform for me, get better so I can say "Ahhh performance degree this and that, I'm good enough to just perform."
Ever since I've been here at ASU though, I really miss dance, and I really miss acting. Violin has always been rewarding, but I'm not sure if it's always been quite as fun as acting and dancing was for me. The fun I get out of violin is when I win competitions. That's like my golden happiness, of pure fu*king joy. Is that really it? That's what my life is about, winning from playing an instrument?
I think that's why I've decided to get an education degree, because I think I know now that I don't have to keep winning competitions to know that I've accomplished myself with violin. At the same time though, I don't think I want to be a teacher for the rest of my life, either. Where does all those years of dancing and theatre come in? I think those two would be so fun and .... exhilarating. A de-stresser. Violin is usually a stress inducer, especially around lesson time or juries this semester - I broke out so much ( thats like the key indication of any type of stress for me. And the fact that when I eat something [which i overeat when stressed] goes straight to my ass). Not that I don't love violin, but I feel like I should be getting more out of it .. more SATISFACTION. Maybe I'm just not working hard enough.
On that note, my time at home so far has been extremely relaxing and full of family time. I have missed being home so much.
xox
Monday, December 6, 2010
My College Life - CRAZY! (academically..haha)
What a misleading title. :)
yeah, my college life is getting hectic right now, but it's because of all my finals. I got to have a stress detox this evening because I had a visit from a friend down the hall, Matt, who's never ever here haha. He stayed and talked with my roommate and I, and we have decided to make a trip to where he's from all together.. Should be fun :)
On that note, my roommate and I seem to be getting along better; by that I mean she seems to be noticing me more.. not acting like I don't exist haha. She is cool though when she gives me the time of day.. I enjoy her company for the most part.
My evening was pretty bad; I was sick the entire time. Yes I know, AGAIN!! Being in the college dorms, everyone can get just about anyone sick because we're always around each other. It's actually really frustrating, because I am pretty sure I eat the healthiest on this floor, yet I'm always getting sick. :(
My studio had their semester recital yesterday, and boy was that a long program... It was probably almost three hours. I didn't even get to stay the whole time - I had so much homework to catch up on, and my parents and my old violin teacher were having to make a big drive back up to Prescott. It was so nice to see them though, and it really meant a lot that they all came down to drive almost 2 hours to see me perform for 5 minutes... Dedication. I had probably the biggest crowd of all the people in studio; My dad, mom, previous violin teacher, his wife, and Tyler. I'm not sure why my sister and brother didn't come - they didn't really give a reason, which is okay I guess because I want them to come see me play when I'm playing an actual *show* piece. The piece I played, Meditation from Thais by Massenet is a piece that is widely requested at weddings and parties, that sort of thing. It's a favorite and it's really slow, not very difficult technique wise.
I'm happy to say though that I didn't completely freeze up for this performance like I have in the past, and I think it's because I'm preparing myself much more than I used to (I'm pretty sure). It was a great ending to a low key, relaxing weekend.
NOW back to stress! I am at the point of deleria from staying awake for so long, and I have another final tomorrow at 7:55... Yikes. I'm so glad I have friends on this floor (he told me to have his name remained unmentioned because he knows I'm writing in my blog) to entertain me. He did this hilarious walk to the bathroom like a turkey, and I seriously almost died! Who needs drugs when you have great friends that can stay up with you really late to get tired and delirious with?!
Anyway, big week coming up for me, lots of work. I'll try and update soon. Hope everyone is living during their finals like I'm trying... :)
XOX
yeah, my college life is getting hectic right now, but it's because of all my finals. I got to have a stress detox this evening because I had a visit from a friend down the hall, Matt, who's never ever here haha. He stayed and talked with my roommate and I, and we have decided to make a trip to where he's from all together.. Should be fun :)
On that note, my roommate and I seem to be getting along better; by that I mean she seems to be noticing me more.. not acting like I don't exist haha. She is cool though when she gives me the time of day.. I enjoy her company for the most part.
My evening was pretty bad; I was sick the entire time. Yes I know, AGAIN!! Being in the college dorms, everyone can get just about anyone sick because we're always around each other. It's actually really frustrating, because I am pretty sure I eat the healthiest on this floor, yet I'm always getting sick. :(
My studio had their semester recital yesterday, and boy was that a long program... It was probably almost three hours. I didn't even get to stay the whole time - I had so much homework to catch up on, and my parents and my old violin teacher were having to make a big drive back up to Prescott. It was so nice to see them though, and it really meant a lot that they all came down to drive almost 2 hours to see me perform for 5 minutes... Dedication. I had probably the biggest crowd of all the people in studio; My dad, mom, previous violin teacher, his wife, and Tyler. I'm not sure why my sister and brother didn't come - they didn't really give a reason, which is okay I guess because I want them to come see me play when I'm playing an actual *show* piece. The piece I played, Meditation from Thais by Massenet is a piece that is widely requested at weddings and parties, that sort of thing. It's a favorite and it's really slow, not very difficult technique wise.
I'm happy to say though that I didn't completely freeze up for this performance like I have in the past, and I think it's because I'm preparing myself much more than I used to (I'm pretty sure). It was a great ending to a low key, relaxing weekend.
NOW back to stress! I am at the point of deleria from staying awake for so long, and I have another final tomorrow at 7:55... Yikes. I'm so glad I have friends on this floor (he told me to have his name remained unmentioned because he knows I'm writing in my blog) to entertain me. He did this hilarious walk to the bathroom like a turkey, and I seriously almost died! Who needs drugs when you have great friends that can stay up with you really late to get tired and delirious with?!
Anyway, big week coming up for me, lots of work. I'll try and update soon. Hope everyone is living during their finals like I'm trying... :)
XOX
Happy 25th Birthday!
Today is my brother's 25th birthday - that is so weird. It's just weird to think of times when he wasn't even 15 yet, or he hadn't even graduated high school yet, and now he's a businessman working for my dad - a grown man!
I'm sure he had a great birthday, that party animal.
xox
I'm sure he had a great birthday, that party animal.
xox
Monday, November 29, 2010
My Weekend Update..It gets Deep.
Man, I can't tell you how great it was to go back home for the weekend. I hadnt' been back since early October, and I missed home so much. I really didn't do much; I did practice piano and violin alot though (something I really should be doing EVERY DAY already haha...).
My mom is the best cook ever (I promise I am not exaggerating.. she can make anything, and makes anything yummy. there is nothing she has made I haven't liked) , and it was also great to be able to go back home and have some homecooked meals.. ahhh. I know my mom was really happy to have us all back home, too. I missed my dogs and little kitty mia SO much, too! I can't wait to take that little one with me to Tempe next year. I was going to take my Paris pooch (pug) too, but I noticed when I visited, that my mom has become much more attached to her. I know she'll never admit it, but I know she'd be so, so sad if I took away Paris. She loves having that furry ball of fat around to follow her around. :)
Thanksgiving wasn't that great to begin with... a typical holiday for my family though. Not embellishing or anything when I say this; but, my family argues every holiday. I mean, we argue alot anyway. That's just how we commmunicate, haha. But every holiday are usually bad arguments. It's not like the whole family argues; there is usually just some dispute between a couple people in the family. This holiday for Thanksgiving, my sister and i were rewarded the big fight for the holiday. Literally, there was no point to it. She got mad because I have a bunch of my mom's (now vintage) clothes that used to be in her closet that she never, ever wore. So I took them around my junior year. I mean, I had some for myself, but she never wore really any of them. So, I found it acceptable that I wander into her closet and get my mom's clothes that were collecting dust in her messy walk-in closet.
Anyway, my mom was totally cool with me having those clothes; she's really happy every time I wear something that was hers. I also love seeing pictures of her in the clothes that I wear now. Well back to the argument, my sister has a temper of both my mom & dad combined, and she's ... well. Kindof spoiled, I think. Usually my parents side with her with most arguments, so it also fuels her anger to just throw a fit easily. So she got really, really mad, and we argued, and next thing you know, we're getting physical - and not in the dirty way. I took the keys to the Escalade, and left the house to Tyler's and spent a couple hours there. It actually worked out fine because Tyler had been begging me for the past 2 hours to visit for a little bit and I wouldn't, but it was prime time to at that moment. It was nice to just forget about it all, and his family always makes me feel better. I came back home a couple hours later; left right before his family was going to eat. It's just - when you have to get away, you gotta get away. I know his mom could tell I had been crying too; the way she looked into my eyes like she was reading my frustration and hurt that had taken place earlier. Honestly, I would feel completely comfortable telling her what happened; but it's really not their problem, and they aren't supposed to be immersed into my problematic issues on their happy Thanksgiving. That's sometimes why I used to hate going over to Tyler's, unless we just went straight down to his room and just hung out - me and him. I couldn't stand being around their family, because they never fought. Their arguments didn't compare in the slightest to ones in my family, and I just hated being around such a happy family. It sounds horrible, but it's the truth. I remember contemplating a couple times turning around as I drove to their house that day thinking, "Should I really be doing this? Tyler's just going to give his sympathetic 'I'm so sorry's ' that he normally does, while thinking in his head 'God her family is so dysfunctional.' " I just can't stand that. I don't like feeling... weak. Pitiful. I don't want to seem less than anyone. That came out wrong.
A lot of times, I just feel uncomfortable around their family, but happy at the same time. Usually it depends on my mood, but alot of the time, I just feel weird around a family that is completely getting along the whole time, in the kitchen together, laughing with no problems in the world.It eats me up inside. Of course it's something to admire, but at the same time I'm.. jealous. Uncomfortable being there. That's why... everytime I used to come over I'd hope "Please don't let his parents be home" because I didn't want to be around them all being happy and everything. It was too uncomfortable. I almost forgot how this all felt because I hadn't been around them in literally months, but it all came back on Thanksgiving day.
It's not that I don't like his family or anything; well, I don't. I love them. I really do. It's just hard for me. Maybe this sounds over -exaggerated and all. I don't really want it to seem like my homelife is horrendous and unbearable.. It's not. And I don't want it to seem like I'm not thankful for my family and what I have, because I am. That's what Thanksgiving is all about anyway. Realizing what in life you are actually thankful for, and bringing everyone close together. It's just hard for me during every holiday when someone will fight with someone. It's inevitable; it happens every holiday. I love my family, I do. They're really all I've got. I'm just more comfortable with an arguing family I guess. Not really the happy family that has sit down dinners every night, and watches movies together and stuff, and is big on "family nights". It's just not what I'm used to. I really hope I'm not making my family seem so horrible, because I am thankful for them. Hell, they've made me who I am today, and I know there are people in my life who do love me and for some strange reason. I hope someday I'll overcome my uncomfortableness with those happy-family situations; I just don't know when. Maybe that's partly why I refuse to go to the Pointe with his family over summer. I just don't know. I'm a confusing, unstable, emotional girl that Tyler decided to fall in love with, and I can't do anything about that, haha. I just don't think he realizes what he's gotten himself into.
Wow. I don't think that's been let out to the public before.
In conclusion, after I we ate dinner, Tyler stopped by my place for a little bit to hang out with my family. Then that weekend, I got to see all my lovely dear friends from high school all in one place... Bada Beanz. Which, I surprisingly was not a fan of the drummer who filled in for the regular. I didn't like his style. I wouldn't ever have this opinion if I weren't dating a drummer, haha. ;)
It was really great to see all my friends there, though. So I just tuned out most of the music. Not to say it wasn't good, because it was.
Sunday I rode back with my friends Ryan, Nikil, and c. Lucas (some of you know which one this is hahah), and some girl c. Lucas brought along with him.
Now, it's back to school, back to eating in my dorm room alone because my schedule is backwards everyone elses, back to my XL twin size bed, back to not-so-great-food, back to checking my planner every hour and late night homework sessions.
I'll probably be up late tonight. I can't wait for after tonight - this'll be a hard night.
I hope everyone had an absolutely wonderful Thanksgiving, as wonderful as mine surprisingly turned out by the end of the day. :)
i wasn't REALLY picking my nose ;)
the one who has to deal with me ^ . . .
My dad & I typically do this to family photos.
XOX
My mom is the best cook ever (I promise I am not exaggerating.. she can make anything, and makes anything yummy. there is nothing she has made I haven't liked) , and it was also great to be able to go back home and have some homecooked meals.. ahhh. I know my mom was really happy to have us all back home, too. I missed my dogs and little kitty mia SO much, too! I can't wait to take that little one with me to Tempe next year. I was going to take my Paris pooch (pug) too, but I noticed when I visited, that my mom has become much more attached to her. I know she'll never admit it, but I know she'd be so, so sad if I took away Paris. She loves having that furry ball of fat around to follow her around. :)
Thanksgiving wasn't that great to begin with... a typical holiday for my family though. Not embellishing or anything when I say this; but, my family argues every holiday. I mean, we argue alot anyway. That's just how we commmunicate, haha. But every holiday are usually bad arguments. It's not like the whole family argues; there is usually just some dispute between a couple people in the family. This holiday for Thanksgiving, my sister and i were rewarded the big fight for the holiday. Literally, there was no point to it. She got mad because I have a bunch of my mom's (now vintage) clothes that used to be in her closet that she never, ever wore. So I took them around my junior year. I mean, I had some for myself, but she never wore really any of them. So, I found it acceptable that I wander into her closet and get my mom's clothes that were collecting dust in her messy walk-in closet.
Anyway, my mom was totally cool with me having those clothes; she's really happy every time I wear something that was hers. I also love seeing pictures of her in the clothes that I wear now. Well back to the argument, my sister has a temper of both my mom & dad combined, and she's ... well. Kindof spoiled, I think. Usually my parents side with her with most arguments, so it also fuels her anger to just throw a fit easily. So she got really, really mad, and we argued, and next thing you know, we're getting physical - and not in the dirty way. I took the keys to the Escalade, and left the house to Tyler's and spent a couple hours there. It actually worked out fine because Tyler had been begging me for the past 2 hours to visit for a little bit and I wouldn't, but it was prime time to at that moment. It was nice to just forget about it all, and his family always makes me feel better. I came back home a couple hours later; left right before his family was going to eat. It's just - when you have to get away, you gotta get away. I know his mom could tell I had been crying too; the way she looked into my eyes like she was reading my frustration and hurt that had taken place earlier. Honestly, I would feel completely comfortable telling her what happened; but it's really not their problem, and they aren't supposed to be immersed into my problematic issues on their happy Thanksgiving. That's sometimes why I used to hate going over to Tyler's, unless we just went straight down to his room and just hung out - me and him. I couldn't stand being around their family, because they never fought. Their arguments didn't compare in the slightest to ones in my family, and I just hated being around such a happy family. It sounds horrible, but it's the truth. I remember contemplating a couple times turning around as I drove to their house that day thinking, "Should I really be doing this? Tyler's just going to give his sympathetic 'I'm so sorry's ' that he normally does, while thinking in his head 'God her family is so dysfunctional.' " I just can't stand that. I don't like feeling... weak. Pitiful. I don't want to seem less than anyone. That came out wrong.
A lot of times, I just feel uncomfortable around their family, but happy at the same time. Usually it depends on my mood, but alot of the time, I just feel weird around a family that is completely getting along the whole time, in the kitchen together, laughing with no problems in the world.It eats me up inside. Of course it's something to admire, but at the same time I'm.. jealous. Uncomfortable being there. That's why... everytime I used to come over I'd hope "Please don't let his parents be home" because I didn't want to be around them all being happy and everything. It was too uncomfortable. I almost forgot how this all felt because I hadn't been around them in literally months, but it all came back on Thanksgiving day.
It's not that I don't like his family or anything; well, I don't. I love them. I really do. It's just hard for me. Maybe this sounds over -exaggerated and all. I don't really want it to seem like my homelife is horrendous and unbearable.. It's not. And I don't want it to seem like I'm not thankful for my family and what I have, because I am. That's what Thanksgiving is all about anyway. Realizing what in life you are actually thankful for, and bringing everyone close together. It's just hard for me during every holiday when someone will fight with someone. It's inevitable; it happens every holiday. I love my family, I do. They're really all I've got. I'm just more comfortable with an arguing family I guess. Not really the happy family that has sit down dinners every night, and watches movies together and stuff, and is big on "family nights". It's just not what I'm used to. I really hope I'm not making my family seem so horrible, because I am thankful for them. Hell, they've made me who I am today, and I know there are people in my life who do love me and for some strange reason. I hope someday I'll overcome my uncomfortableness with those happy-family situations; I just don't know when. Maybe that's partly why I refuse to go to the Pointe with his family over summer. I just don't know. I'm a confusing, unstable, emotional girl that Tyler decided to fall in love with, and I can't do anything about that, haha. I just don't think he realizes what he's gotten himself into.
Wow. I don't think that's been let out to the public before.
In conclusion, after I we ate dinner, Tyler stopped by my place for a little bit to hang out with my family. Then that weekend, I got to see all my lovely dear friends from high school all in one place... Bada Beanz. Which, I surprisingly was not a fan of the drummer who filled in for the regular. I didn't like his style. I wouldn't ever have this opinion if I weren't dating a drummer, haha. ;)
It was really great to see all my friends there, though. So I just tuned out most of the music. Not to say it wasn't good, because it was.
Sunday I rode back with my friends Ryan, Nikil, and c. Lucas (some of you know which one this is hahah), and some girl c. Lucas brought along with him.
Now, it's back to school, back to eating in my dorm room alone because my schedule is backwards everyone elses, back to my XL twin size bed, back to not-so-great-food, back to checking my planner every hour and late night homework sessions.
I'll probably be up late tonight. I can't wait for after tonight - this'll be a hard night.
I hope everyone had an absolutely wonderful Thanksgiving, as wonderful as mine surprisingly turned out by the end of the day. :)
i wasn't REALLY picking my nose ;)
the one who has to deal with me ^ . . .
My dad & I typically do this to family photos.
XOX
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
30 Day Photo Challenge --- FAIL.
Yeah, I've given up on the Photo Challenge. It's not that it was too hard or anything; I just found it hard to find time every day to look for pictures and stuff. Maybe it's just the wrong time right now... I'm super, super busy :/
Anyway, HOME SWEET HOME!! Back in Prescott. The drive up to Prescott was kindof a drag. Well - a huge drag. Tyler gave me a ride, and somehow as always I find a way to start up an argument, haha. It's me that starts it. There's just one issue that'll always get me going. Why lie ha. Anyway, we didn't really resolve our issues until 5 minutes after 11 pm when he was leaving, and I realized I didn't want us to not see each other for a week and end our time together on a bad note. It really sucks how much toll having a boyfriend can have over your life.
It's like it can control your whole mood, and what ever you decide to do during the day (if you let it, which I have). Sometimes, if him and I are in a bad enough fight, it's like I have the complete opposite reaction: all I want to do is be with him. Regardless if that means I can keep insulting or arguing with him, I'd just rather be with him when I'm angry at him, than apart. I know - I 'm so twisted. But hey..I guess that's proof that there is someone out there for everyone. ;)
It feels absolutely AWESOME to be back home. I've missed it so much. On top of that, my mom has completely redone my room. Well not like "completely", but she has spruced it up pretty nice. She added decorations, painted my walls, and cleaned my room really, REALLY well!! Haha! Thank you mom!
As I've said before, a lot of people my age hate my town. I love. I love everything about Prescott. It's beautiful, and the weather is beautiful. Speaking of beautiful weather, it is an absolutely perfect chill outside now. Crisp, perfect bite to the skin. Yeah that's kindof weird to that I like that biting-skin cold...
I don't really have much plans for the weekend, other than seeing Burlesque tomorrow with my sister- we've been waiting for months!
I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!
<3 xox
Anyway, HOME SWEET HOME!! Back in Prescott. The drive up to Prescott was kindof a drag. Well - a huge drag. Tyler gave me a ride, and somehow as always I find a way to start up an argument, haha. It's me that starts it. There's just one issue that'll always get me going. Why lie ha. Anyway, we didn't really resolve our issues until 5 minutes after 11 pm when he was leaving, and I realized I didn't want us to not see each other for a week and end our time together on a bad note. It really sucks how much toll having a boyfriend can have over your life.
It's like it can control your whole mood, and what ever you decide to do during the day (if you let it, which I have). Sometimes, if him and I are in a bad enough fight, it's like I have the complete opposite reaction: all I want to do is be with him. Regardless if that means I can keep insulting or arguing with him, I'd just rather be with him when I'm angry at him, than apart. I know - I 'm so twisted. But hey..I guess that's proof that there is someone out there for everyone. ;)
It feels absolutely AWESOME to be back home. I've missed it so much. On top of that, my mom has completely redone my room. Well not like "completely", but she has spruced it up pretty nice. She added decorations, painted my walls, and cleaned my room really, REALLY well!! Haha! Thank you mom!
As I've said before, a lot of people my age hate my town. I love. I love everything about Prescott. It's beautiful, and the weather is beautiful. Speaking of beautiful weather, it is an absolutely perfect chill outside now. Crisp, perfect bite to the skin. Yeah that's kindof weird to that I like that biting-skin cold...
I don't really have much plans for the weekend, other than seeing Burlesque tomorrow with my sister- we've been waiting for months!
I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!
<3 xox
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Music Lovin'
Since I'm in a very complacent, morose mood this evening, I got a sudden, random urge to listen to "Enya." It's actually calming me down; I feel sleepy now. I always feel tired after I cry.
An update of my little life:
I practiced with my accompanist, Dani today. He is from Israel! He is a very intellectual person, very smart. He kindof reminds me of my previous violin teacher: both Jewish, smart (but like, well-rounded smart). That's kindof a weird way to put it, but it's not like he's academically smart, or has one expertise- he's just like my previous violin teacher; he knows a lot of facts from a lot of different categories and subjects. We didn't even practice today... we just sat in a practice room for almost 2 and a half hours talking about subject after subject.
Lately, I've found it hard to adjust to my new technique that my teacher is giving me. I can't get a really GOOD tone anymore; like my bow hold has changed the way I make sound. My new bow hold and left hand are supposed to make me more relaxed, but I don't see how it's doing that. :( I feel like I'm even more tense at times, now.
What do I do?? Today a master class was held by a guy from the Orion String Quartet. He studied with someone that studied with Nathan Milstein (virtuoso ways back..). He had some good suggestions that I am definitely going to start doing!
I've been just really, really stressed lately, and maybe it's leaking into my playing. I just need to relax. It's hard being a music ed major here at ASU. Typically the normal college undergrad degree is 120 hours. For my degree, it is 156. 156!!!! I am trying to think of any other majors here that go completely overboard the standard 120, and I can't. Maybe engineering? I know for sure no other music degrees go substantially over. I was talking with my previous violin teacher, and yeah, I'd love to switch to performance. It'd be awesome. But, I don't know if I want the violin to become my entire life, and I know it definitely would if I decided to switch to being music performance major. It's just, the job market for strign players like myself is not good right now. The salaries are continuously decreasing, and I don't see myself being so good that I'm "too good" to play in a professional symphony.... Nah. I'd probably have to be at the level I'm at right now like...5 or 6 years ago, or more maybe, haha. Yeah, it's possible that if I were to finish as a performance major that I could maybe get a job in a symphony or something. But is that really all I want in life? Do i honestly want to make the rest of my college career and potentially the rest of my work life just playing the violin? I know it must be so fun to go to orchestra rehearsal for those people instead of dressing up in a suit & tie everyday, going to a stuffy work job with desks and cubicles. However, I want to live my life, I want to not worry about, "Oh, man I only got in 5 hours of practice today I should practice later tonight to get in another 3.." . You have to want it. Frankly, it appears I don't want it that bad. It's not that i wouldn't love to be just a performer; I just really like the idea of teaching. A lot. I think I am a people person. I get along well with people, being around people, and kids. I think being a teacher would be a much more rewarding job perosnally. I also know that teaching isn't exactly the most profitable job either; but just knowing that I've inspired a student through music as all my music teachers have done for me is totally worth it.
So far, I'm starting to feel better and more uplifted from my morose depression. Thank God for writing/blogging. I already bottle up many, many feelings from day to day, and I can't imagine if I had to bottle up absolutely everything... Yikes. Writing is such an outlet for me, and it's cool to know there are people out there (YOU) that are reading my thoghts. And guess actually care to read what I have to say!
xox
An update of my little life:
I practiced with my accompanist, Dani today. He is from Israel! He is a very intellectual person, very smart. He kindof reminds me of my previous violin teacher: both Jewish, smart (but like, well-rounded smart). That's kindof a weird way to put it, but it's not like he's academically smart, or has one expertise- he's just like my previous violin teacher; he knows a lot of facts from a lot of different categories and subjects. We didn't even practice today... we just sat in a practice room for almost 2 and a half hours talking about subject after subject.
Lately, I've found it hard to adjust to my new technique that my teacher is giving me. I can't get a really GOOD tone anymore; like my bow hold has changed the way I make sound. My new bow hold and left hand are supposed to make me more relaxed, but I don't see how it's doing that. :( I feel like I'm even more tense at times, now.
What do I do?? Today a master class was held by a guy from the Orion String Quartet. He studied with someone that studied with Nathan Milstein (virtuoso ways back..). He had some good suggestions that I am definitely going to start doing!
I've been just really, really stressed lately, and maybe it's leaking into my playing. I just need to relax. It's hard being a music ed major here at ASU. Typically the normal college undergrad degree is 120 hours. For my degree, it is 156. 156!!!! I am trying to think of any other majors here that go completely overboard the standard 120, and I can't. Maybe engineering? I know for sure no other music degrees go substantially over. I was talking with my previous violin teacher, and yeah, I'd love to switch to performance. It'd be awesome. But, I don't know if I want the violin to become my entire life, and I know it definitely would if I decided to switch to being music performance major. It's just, the job market for strign players like myself is not good right now. The salaries are continuously decreasing, and I don't see myself being so good that I'm "too good" to play in a professional symphony.... Nah. I'd probably have to be at the level I'm at right now like...5 or 6 years ago, or more maybe, haha. Yeah, it's possible that if I were to finish as a performance major that I could maybe get a job in a symphony or something. But is that really all I want in life? Do i honestly want to make the rest of my college career and potentially the rest of my work life just playing the violin? I know it must be so fun to go to orchestra rehearsal for those people instead of dressing up in a suit & tie everyday, going to a stuffy work job with desks and cubicles. However, I want to live my life, I want to not worry about, "Oh, man I only got in 5 hours of practice today I should practice later tonight to get in another 3.." . You have to want it. Frankly, it appears I don't want it that bad. It's not that i wouldn't love to be just a performer; I just really like the idea of teaching. A lot. I think I am a people person. I get along well with people, being around people, and kids. I think being a teacher would be a much more rewarding job perosnally. I also know that teaching isn't exactly the most profitable job either; but just knowing that I've inspired a student through music as all my music teachers have done for me is totally worth it.
So far, I'm starting to feel better and more uplifted from my morose depression. Thank God for writing/blogging. I already bottle up many, many feelings from day to day, and I can't imagine if I had to bottle up absolutely everything... Yikes. Writing is such an outlet for me, and it's cool to know there are people out there (YOU) that are reading my thoghts. And guess actually care to read what I have to say!
xox
30 Day Photo Challenge, Day 10
The reason why I like this photo is because both my dad and I love to dance. Really everyone in my family likes to. I also like the shoes I'm wearing in this picture...I've worn them 2 times other than this time. Yep they're worn on rare occasions..
Anyway, this photo was taken a couple weeks back at one of my brother's best friend's wedding. This photo reminds me of when I was around 10 years old at the Girl Scout's Father Daughter Dance and there was a dance competition - and my dad and I won! :) We were so proud that the judges picked us out of the whole crowd. It was the twist... I guess in this case I got it from my "dad", haha.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
30 Day Photo Challenge, Days 7, 8, 9
violin.
I guess this represents two treasured items; my violin, and my mom's old clothes from the 70's.
She kept all the ones that were worth keeping, and gave most to me. I love them all, and this dress is actually one of those vintage dresses :)
I LOVE TO TRAVEL!!!!
I'm not really picky of who with, but anywhere foreign to explore around the world or country, anywhere - I'll love and enjoy! I'm fortunate that my parents aren't those parents that say to their kids, "Okay, Kids!! We'll be gone for about a week in Spain, then to Morocco. See you when we're back!"
No. :) My parents took us with them everywhere, to wherever they wanted to go. They wanted to "expand our horizons", that sort of thing. Which, by the way I think they accomplished?
...Since i'm not home, I can't do this one unfortuantely :(
The minute I visit home though, I will upload a baby picture!!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Late Night Homeworkin' & Reflectin'
For me, strangely, 11:15 at night on a weeknight was considered pretty early for me. Now ever since I started college, you'd think I'd turn into the typical college night owl - but no, no. Right now as I struggle to keep myself awake to write this God-forsaken paper, I began to reflect and compare my life now to what it used to be like living in small town of Prescott.
Even though I am essentially responsible for myself now almost completely, I feel like now that I am in college, my life is somewhat easier as well.
For instance, I don't have to wake up every morning at 7 am to take out my precious dog, Paris. I literally roll out of bed now a half hour to 20 minutes before class starts, brush my teeth, put on some clothes and jet out to class. My only "real" chores and responsibilities are school now. Of course in my mind it weighs so heavily, because all I want to do is succeed and not screw anything up. I want to stay on top of my grades, and I am proud of myself so far for being able to do so (I hope I didn't jinx myself..). In high school, academics was not a top priority for me. Not to say I was a failing grade student throughout high school; I just didn't care to get straight a's. I was more of an A's, B's, and a couple C's throughout my high school career, which I was okay with. It wasn't until my senior year that I really started to care about my academics, because it was like, "Okay, colleges are going to decline you if you don't have good grades!! GET TO IT!" So, I did. My last year of high school, I got straight a's for most the year, I think. I don't even really remember now. On top of that, I became involved in the band which was one of the best decisions I made in high school. I went back to the local dance studio and began training in dance again - not just school dance team, which is pretty easy dancing and not extremely technical. I was dancing again, and it felt so great to actually feel like I was getting better; not just dancing to put on a show.
Anyway, as I sit here in the midst of my 'busy' college life, I find myself still in my "good grade craze", which is good. I am determined tonight to stay up as late as I need to, to get this paper done. One might wonder what the prompt for this paper is? "Actual Performance realization vs. Concept of Composition in Several Cultures."
Yeah... Beats me. I'm completely in the dark on this one, which is why I'm not writing it right now. My friend and I are currently trying to help each other out by exchanging some notes over Skype. I hope that's not cheating..
To sum this up, I miss Prescott, but I'm also kindof liking this newfound freedom that I've had, that I also haven't abused like most college freshman tend to do. I am actually going to bed earlier than I did when I was in high school, and I am actually really organized! I'm proud of myself!
Well that was enough self-loving for the night I guess, haha. I should probably start writing my paper now.
Tomorrow, when I'll have a moment to myself, I'll try and update my 30 Day Challenge all in one post.
XOX<3
Even though I am essentially responsible for myself now almost completely, I feel like now that I am in college, my life is somewhat easier as well.
For instance, I don't have to wake up every morning at 7 am to take out my precious dog, Paris. I literally roll out of bed now a half hour to 20 minutes before class starts, brush my teeth, put on some clothes and jet out to class. My only "real" chores and responsibilities are school now. Of course in my mind it weighs so heavily, because all I want to do is succeed and not screw anything up. I want to stay on top of my grades, and I am proud of myself so far for being able to do so (I hope I didn't jinx myself..). In high school, academics was not a top priority for me. Not to say I was a failing grade student throughout high school; I just didn't care to get straight a's. I was more of an A's, B's, and a couple C's throughout my high school career, which I was okay with. It wasn't until my senior year that I really started to care about my academics, because it was like, "Okay, colleges are going to decline you if you don't have good grades!! GET TO IT!" So, I did. My last year of high school, I got straight a's for most the year, I think. I don't even really remember now. On top of that, I became involved in the band which was one of the best decisions I made in high school. I went back to the local dance studio and began training in dance again - not just school dance team, which is pretty easy dancing and not extremely technical. I was dancing again, and it felt so great to actually feel like I was getting better; not just dancing to put on a show.
Anyway, as I sit here in the midst of my 'busy' college life, I find myself still in my "good grade craze", which is good. I am determined tonight to stay up as late as I need to, to get this paper done. One might wonder what the prompt for this paper is? "Actual Performance realization vs. Concept of Composition in Several Cultures."
Yeah... Beats me. I'm completely in the dark on this one, which is why I'm not writing it right now. My friend and I are currently trying to help each other out by exchanging some notes over Skype. I hope that's not cheating..
To sum this up, I miss Prescott, but I'm also kindof liking this newfound freedom that I've had, that I also haven't abused like most college freshman tend to do. I am actually going to bed earlier than I did when I was in high school, and I am actually really organized! I'm proud of myself!
Well that was enough self-loving for the night I guess, haha. I should probably start writing my paper now.
Tomorrow, when I'll have a moment to myself, I'll try and update my 30 Day Challenge all in one post.
XOX<3
Sunday, November 14, 2010
30 Day Photo Challenge, Day 6
I couldn't choose between these two, but I chose:
Conan O'Brien and......
Queen Elizabeth II!
Yeah, I know they are opposites but I couldn't choose!
Conan gets to meet awesome celebrities every single day, and everyone LOVES him. Also, The Queen of England has so many civil duties and such, and I would love to experience that.
xox
30 Day Photo Challenge, Day 5
This is hilarious....
I was doing improv pictures with one of my best friends Keith, and this was what he came up with for "Dirty Sock". Spur of the moment, last minute pose. SO funny!!!
30 Day Photo Challenge, Day 4
ahhh.....
MACHU PICCHU!!!
There is something so enchanting about this place. I think everyone can tell why I say that... HOW can you not think this is amazing?!?
Anyway, I actually have a pretty extensive list of 'places I'd want to visit', so I just chose a random one in the top 5. :)
Hopefully, you all have heard of Machu Picchu, but if not, it is an Inca site located in Peru that is just exquisite.
Here's a little history on it that I quickly pulled up from Wikipedia (hey, I still like Wiki I don't care what anyone says!)
Machu Picchu was built around 1450, at the height of the Inca Empire.[3] It was abandoned just over 100 years later, in 1572, as a belated result of the Spanish Conquest.[3][4] It is likely that most of its inhabitants died from smallpox introduced by travelers before the Spanish conquistadores arrived in the area.[citation needed] The latter had notes of a place called Piccho, although there is no record of the Spanish having visited the remote city. The types of sacred rocks defaced by the conquistadors in other locations are untouched at Machu Picchu.[4]
Hiram Bingham theorized that the complex was the traditional birthplace of the Incan "Virgins of the Suns".[5] More recent research by scholars such as John Rowe and Richard Burger, has convinced most archaeologists that Machu Picchu was an estate of the Inca emperor Pachacuti.[4] In addition, Johan Reinhard presented evidence that the site was selected because of its position relative to sacred landscape features such as its mountains, which are purported to be in alignment with key astronomical events important to the Incas.
I think this would be a lovely place to backpack around with friends, family, or with a significant other - I'm good with either and all, and hopefully I will someday!
That is a slice of heaven that picture, isn't it? I can't get over it... It must be so much more incredible in person.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
30 Day Photo Challenge, Day 3
This photo me so happy, because it was such a memorable day. It is so rare to be able to have you and all your friends in a different country together... costly.
I picked this picture because it was one of my favorite days during the band London trip last year. Fortunately, my chaperoned group included only all of my friends, so we took a trip to the British Museum. The entire time, we were using our fake British accents, walking around, just talking about what ever we could for everyone to hear. It was actually pretty stupid, but it was also so hilarious. This is one of many pictures we took in the museum - this one we were just trying to act like we were asleep. The point? Not sure. Who cares!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
30 Day Photo Challenge, Day 2
Ahh....Eydn.
Our story is kindof funny actually, since we're really the best of friends.
We met when I was 3 and she was 4 (she's almost exactly year older than me but not quite), and we didn't like each other at all!
We have gone to school together since Kindergarten, and knew each other even before that. All throughout elementary school and up through high school, we were and still are each other's best friend.
You know when you're best friends with someone..It's like even if you two haven't talked in days, when you get to converse again it's like there was no time in between. That's kindof how she and I are now since we live clear across the country from each other.
I can honestly say that, I am not sure if I would be here today if it weren't for her. I had some really, really hard times throughout my life and childhood so far, and she as been there every single time for me, to help me get through it all. I cannot express how thankful I am for this person to be in my life, and at that be such a huge part of my life.
Not only has she been there for the bad stuff, but we have shared SO many countless memories together, and experienced new things together. I think we were together for our first party, first real depression (for both of us), first heartbreaks. I remember the first person that I thought I was in loved with - one of my friends told me to get over him, and was really blunt (which it sounds bad, but I couldn't thank her more) and this friend opened up my eyes, because deep inside, all I was doing was trying to convince myself it was going my way. Anyway, when I realized that him and I were done, and I had finally come to that realization and didn't back down, I think I might've cried for almost the entire day. It may sound kindof dumb or like I'm trying make people feel sorry for myself, but really it took a huge toll on me. It was someone I basically wasted almost three years trying to make things work with, and was okay with being his 2nd choice. Am I the only one that's been through this? It was like, he only talked to me or anything when he wanted to. And at the time, or all throughout freshman-junior year, I was okay with that. I felt like, "any time is better than none at all." Wow, was I wrong.
Again back to the story and not going on a tangent again, all those hours I cried... Eydn came over. I think it was a Saturday, and she could've done anything in the world but come over to my house. It was 6 or 7 at night when she finally arrived, and we took a fleece blanket from my room and went out to my car. We put the top down, and played music in the car, looking up at the stars. It would've been totally romantic if it were with a sig. other, hahaha. Back to story... we just stayed out there for hours- probably until midnight. I was crying, basically detoxing, and she cried. Next thing we knew, we both woke up and it was almost midnight, and she had to get home.
That's always one of those memories I'll hold close in my heart because that was such a turning point in my life, and she was there to ...witness it, I guess.
So, I dedicated my photo challenge day 2 photo to my bestest friend, Eydn. The person who has seen me at my worst, best, been there for the worst and best.... my best friend. <3
Friday, November 5, 2010
30 Day Photo Challenge, Day 1
I contemplate doing things based on what other people will think alot which I guess you could say is a flaw. Maybe like, the "30 day photo challenge" that many of my friends have been participating on through facebook and through here. Usually, it's because I'm thinking, "I hope everyone doesn't think I'm just some copycat", or "I hope I'm not conforming to much to what's 'in' "... Just things like that. It's like I'm afraid to get caught up in the crowd...Is that a bad thing to admit?
With that set aside, I've been thinking for a couple weeks or so, whether or not to begin this photo challenge. For me, I had to debate this because of these alterior thoughts I had, thinking of if I want to be joining the bandwagon. I really think it's interesting, so I think once the 30 days is done, I'll just transfer every picture with the info. I think that will be less annoying to all my 964 friends on facebook to get a dumb notification on their news feed that "Tiffany has added 1 photo to her news feed" every single day for 30 days.
So, here is where I birth my 30 day photo challenge (hahah, birth.)...or where it commences!
(I also tried to pick one that seemed to have a different list than the common one that i've been seeing on facebook, but there are alot of similarities. Oh well- a list is a list!)
Day 1: A Picture of Yourself with 10 Facts
1. When I'm put on the spot, it's hard for me to defend myself most of the time because my mind goes blank, and I end up thinking of really good comebacks wayy after the fact (I'm guessing I'm not the only person that goes through this... I can't be!!)
2. I can keep a secret.
A lot of people probably wouldn't think this is an attribute I have because I'm pretty open with everyone. That's just one of the personaliy traits I guess you could call say that I pride myself in.
3. I'm easy to talk to.
I don't know why actually, but somehow I've had people I'm not that great of friends wth open up to me. Personally, I find it flattering that the person will be able to just.. open up to me, and tell me what their problems or sadness is coming from. I'm glad that I can be a person that someone can feel comfortable talking about things with.
4. I'm a hypocrite
5. I am quite the emotional person, which yeah that's not really a good thing either is it? haha. I easily cry in movies (even have during a few previews), I get scared easily during movies, I can be quick to anger.
6. I honestly think I might have paranoia.
7. I hold onto bad feelings, and I wish I could just let grudges go. As much as you can tell yourself, "there's no time in life for grudges, just move past it -move on." - yeah, I can't do that. With...certain things. It really all depends on the situation, I suppose. With some things, I'll forget about it and move on quicker than one should, but with other situations, I could waste my day thinking about it, tearing myself up. It's ridiculous.
8. I'm lovable. I love people, I love friends, I love family. I think it's rather easy for people to like me; I don't mean this in a conceited way - but I can't think of that many people that don't like me. I can think of... 2, haha.
9. I trust people easily and quickly. Actually, I think I trust people too easily. Maybe that's part of the reason why people can open up to me easily, because I tend to open myself up to them, too.
10. It's taken me awhile to think of a tenth fact about me, but I think I've found one. I'm kindof a perv. Maybe that is why the majority of my friends are boys; I'm not really sure, or maybe most of my friends are boys. Regardless, I'm a perv. I enjoy crude humor (it's my favorite, i.e. one of my favorite movies is "Anchorman"), and I make crude jokes. I'm crass, as my mom would say.
Well there is my ten facts about me. Did most of you know these about me? Or were there some where you thought, "oh that is cool/weird/sad I didn't know that..." ?
I forgot to put a picture up for 1st day of the challenge. oops
xox
With that set aside, I've been thinking for a couple weeks or so, whether or not to begin this photo challenge. For me, I had to debate this because of these alterior thoughts I had, thinking of if I want to be joining the bandwagon. I really think it's interesting, so I think once the 30 days is done, I'll just transfer every picture with the info. I think that will be less annoying to all my 964 friends on facebook to get a dumb notification on their news feed that "Tiffany has added 1 photo to her news feed" every single day for 30 days.
So, here is where I birth my 30 day photo challenge (hahah, birth.)...or where it commences!
(I also tried to pick one that seemed to have a different list than the common one that i've been seeing on facebook, but there are alot of similarities. Oh well- a list is a list!)
Day 1: A Picture of Yourself with 10 Facts
1. When I'm put on the spot, it's hard for me to defend myself most of the time because my mind goes blank, and I end up thinking of really good comebacks wayy after the fact (I'm guessing I'm not the only person that goes through this... I can't be!!)
2. I can keep a secret.
A lot of people probably wouldn't think this is an attribute I have because I'm pretty open with everyone. That's just one of the personaliy traits I guess you could call say that I pride myself in.
3. I'm easy to talk to.
I don't know why actually, but somehow I've had people I'm not that great of friends wth open up to me. Personally, I find it flattering that the person will be able to just.. open up to me, and tell me what their problems or sadness is coming from. I'm glad that I can be a person that someone can feel comfortable talking about things with.
4. I'm a hypocrite
5. I am quite the emotional person, which yeah that's not really a good thing either is it? haha. I easily cry in movies (even have during a few previews), I get scared easily during movies, I can be quick to anger.
6. I honestly think I might have paranoia.
7. I hold onto bad feelings, and I wish I could just let grudges go. As much as you can tell yourself, "there's no time in life for grudges, just move past it -move on." - yeah, I can't do that. With...certain things. It really all depends on the situation, I suppose. With some things, I'll forget about it and move on quicker than one should, but with other situations, I could waste my day thinking about it, tearing myself up. It's ridiculous.
8. I'm lovable. I love people, I love friends, I love family. I think it's rather easy for people to like me; I don't mean this in a conceited way - but I can't think of that many people that don't like me. I can think of... 2, haha.
9. I trust people easily and quickly. Actually, I think I trust people too easily. Maybe that's part of the reason why people can open up to me easily, because I tend to open myself up to them, too.
10. It's taken me awhile to think of a tenth fact about me, but I think I've found one. I'm kindof a perv. Maybe that is why the majority of my friends are boys; I'm not really sure, or maybe most of my friends are boys. Regardless, I'm a perv. I enjoy crude humor (it's my favorite, i.e. one of my favorite movies is "Anchorman"), and I make crude jokes. I'm crass, as my mom would say.
Well there is my ten facts about me. Did most of you know these about me? Or were there some where you thought, "oh that is cool/weird/sad I didn't know that..." ?
I forgot to put a picture up for 1st day of the challenge. oops
xox
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Feeling Management
How is it possible, that a person can go from one happy feeling so quickly to the next?
How can I go from feeling like, "Hey- I actually look good today!" to,
"I feel like shit."
These days, I find my insecurities growing stronger as my confidence dwindles. I can't seem to hold onto my happiness, and it leaves me quickly. I find myself more often than it should be, staring at myself, pointing out all my insecurities and flaws, picking at everything I wish I could change about myself.
I used to be able to tell people there is something I like about me, but now I can't. I can't seem to muster anything.
Other than that, I struggle to find things about myself that I take pride in. Why do I feel this way?
Am I depressed again? How does it revive itself after a few years, just out of nowhere? Why am I lacking confidence? There is something wrong with me.... I feel like anyone I come in contact with, I'm comparing them to me. Can't I just be happy with myself; can I just be content?
People are never content, and never settle. The world won't keep spinning if there isn't hope, or if there isn't some optimism or something to look forward to - something to aim for. People need goals, and I guess I have mine. Mine are just more of standards.
I'm actually done with my sad spell now I think, and I love being able to vent somewhere. I wish Eydn was here. She always knew just the right things to say to me at times like these, and wouldn't be lying asleep passed out next to me. I think I miss her more than she misses me. Afterall, I think I need her more than she needs me too as well haha. I think she understands me more than anyone, and more than anyone ever will.
I wish someone wasn't blinded by love to see what I'm really like. I'm not perfect, and I'm filled with flaws. I'm bitter, insecure, and I am not happy with myself right now, and really haven't been for a long time.
I want my insecurity to go away.
How can I go from feeling like, "Hey- I actually look good today!" to,
"I feel like shit."
These days, I find my insecurities growing stronger as my confidence dwindles. I can't seem to hold onto my happiness, and it leaves me quickly. I find myself more often than it should be, staring at myself, pointing out all my insecurities and flaws, picking at everything I wish I could change about myself.
I used to be able to tell people there is something I like about me, but now I can't. I can't seem to muster anything.
Other than that, I struggle to find things about myself that I take pride in. Why do I feel this way?
Am I depressed again? How does it revive itself after a few years, just out of nowhere? Why am I lacking confidence? There is something wrong with me.... I feel like anyone I come in contact with, I'm comparing them to me. Can't I just be happy with myself; can I just be content?
People are never content, and never settle. The world won't keep spinning if there isn't hope, or if there isn't some optimism or something to look forward to - something to aim for. People need goals, and I guess I have mine. Mine are just more of standards.
I'm actually done with my sad spell now I think, and I love being able to vent somewhere. I wish Eydn was here. She always knew just the right things to say to me at times like these, and wouldn't be lying asleep passed out next to me. I think I miss her more than she misses me. Afterall, I think I need her more than she needs me too as well haha. I think she understands me more than anyone, and more than anyone ever will.
I wish someone wasn't blinded by love to see what I'm really like. I'm not perfect, and I'm filled with flaws. I'm bitter, insecure, and I am not happy with myself right now, and really haven't been for a long time.
I want my insecurity to go away.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
You're Dangerous...I'm Lovin' It..
Yael Naim did a cover of "Toxic" - a Britney Spears song. Personally, it's I think one of three songs I liked that Britney Spears has done.
I like Yael Naim's version better though... It's creepier!
Check it out:
Just thought I'd share a bit of creepy lovin'.
xox
I like Yael Naim's version better though... It's creepier!
Check it out:
Just thought I'd share a bit of creepy lovin'.
xox
Monday, November 1, 2010
Weird Weekend
My weekend went almost completely wrong!
My friends from Flagstaff were supposed to come up for the weekend (which they actually did), but we were planning on hanging out on different days, (which is my fault). I thought they'd be here on the actual Halloween, not the Saturday before Halloween. Now that I think about it, I feel dumb for thinking actual Halloween because that's a Sunday - NOT saturday!! So, that night I was supposed to go to one of Tyler's coworker's parties, but we actually ended up getting out of our costumes and strolling around Mill Ave.
Sunday, I went to Cardinals game with Tyler's family which had a bad encounter. I must've had my good shorts on, because I guess Big Bertha was causing a scene, and then Tyler called these 40-something year old men out on it. Then, his mom actually stepped in and it wasn't a scary situation anymore - it was just funny! Tyler's mom, there to save his ass! Haha! After the game anyway, we went to a Halloween party that included Trick or Treating and then "Zombieland" (surprisingly, not a bad movie!)
Haley & Jennie when you read this, SO sorry our plans didn't work out and I feel like a complete dummy, and I really wish we could have hung out because I know we would've had such a fun time. Anyway I hope plans worked out for you both down here, besides the whole thing with me hah.
So now, my dilemma has shifted over to my room: I can't find my digital camera ANYWHERE! Believe it or not, I spent about 30 minutes today looking for it, and right as I typed the first sentence of this paragraph out, I magically looked above my closet and there it was! Gosh, that was so weird. Well since I now have my camera, I can upload the pictures from Halloween.
Tyler and I did the show Dexter. He was Dexter, and I was one of his victims.
If any of you are unfamiliar with the show, he's a serial killer (but a very clean killer!) that wraps his victims in shrink wrap, cuts their right cheek for a blood sample, and then chops up their bodies! Haha, I know kindof gross - BUT it is a great show... I think everyone should watch it, but only if you're not sensitive to nudity and blood!
When my internet allows for it, I will upload pictures from Halloween (there's not many!)
I hope everyone had a great Halloween (especially Haley & Jennie xo)
And a Happy Birthday to my Dad, whose birthday was Halloween! I still feel bad I wasn't able to tag along to Tucson for his birthday.
My friends from Flagstaff were supposed to come up for the weekend (which they actually did), but we were planning on hanging out on different days, (which is my fault). I thought they'd be here on the actual Halloween, not the Saturday before Halloween. Now that I think about it, I feel dumb for thinking actual Halloween because that's a Sunday - NOT saturday!! So, that night I was supposed to go to one of Tyler's coworker's parties, but we actually ended up getting out of our costumes and strolling around Mill Ave.
Sunday, I went to Cardinals game with Tyler's family which had a bad encounter. I must've had my good shorts on, because I guess Big Bertha was causing a scene, and then Tyler called these 40-something year old men out on it. Then, his mom actually stepped in and it wasn't a scary situation anymore - it was just funny! Tyler's mom, there to save his ass! Haha! After the game anyway, we went to a Halloween party that included Trick or Treating and then "Zombieland" (surprisingly, not a bad movie!)
Haley & Jennie when you read this, SO sorry our plans didn't work out and I feel like a complete dummy, and I really wish we could have hung out because I know we would've had such a fun time. Anyway I hope plans worked out for you both down here, besides the whole thing with me hah.
So now, my dilemma has shifted over to my room: I can't find my digital camera ANYWHERE! Believe it or not, I spent about 30 minutes today looking for it, and right as I typed the first sentence of this paragraph out, I magically looked above my closet and there it was! Gosh, that was so weird. Well since I now have my camera, I can upload the pictures from Halloween.
Tyler and I did the show Dexter. He was Dexter, and I was one of his victims.
If any of you are unfamiliar with the show, he's a serial killer (but a very clean killer!) that wraps his victims in shrink wrap, cuts their right cheek for a blood sample, and then chops up their bodies! Haha, I know kindof gross - BUT it is a great show... I think everyone should watch it, but only if you're not sensitive to nudity and blood!
When my internet allows for it, I will upload pictures from Halloween (there's not many!)
I hope everyone had a great Halloween (especially Haley & Jennie xo)
And a Happy Birthday to my Dad, whose birthday was Halloween! I still feel bad I wasn't able to tag along to Tucson for his birthday.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
The Happenings of Wednesday
This is what goes down in my dorm room on a Wednesday night.... My roommate is a photography major, and she had to do a 5 picture story. She decided that Meryl (girl in nightgown) should come out of the closet (meryl's a ghost, FYI), and kill Ankit, the student at the desk. I told her to turn the tables around though for a twist, and make him actually defend himself against her, so untypical of a horror movie! It was hilarious to watch, and I was quite a disruption to the 'shoot'. I originally took these to show Meryl I could be sneaky too (She's all about being sneaky and people not knowing her whereabouts) and she had no idea i was taking a video. So here's a video from tonight! Hopefully not completely stupid...
Well, it's almost the weekend, which means its THAT much closer to Halloween! I feel sad; typically, Halloween is my favorite holiday of the year other than Christmas. This year, I was so busy that Halloween just sort of snuck up on me Good news though: my creepiest, loveable friends in the world Haley & Jennie are coming here for Halloween! I will have to find something for all of us to do. Tyler and I are going to go as Dexter and one of the victims, but I am not sure if I want to walk around in shrink wrap all night, yeah? What is everyone being for Halloween? I'm curious! I also might need a "children friendly" costume as well for my volunteering at the Phoenix Symphony, so I would love any and all suggestions.
xox
Well, it's almost the weekend, which means its THAT much closer to Halloween! I feel sad; typically, Halloween is my favorite holiday of the year other than Christmas. This year, I was so busy that Halloween just sort of snuck up on me Good news though: my creepiest, loveable friends in the world Haley & Jennie are coming here for Halloween! I will have to find something for all of us to do. Tyler and I are going to go as Dexter and one of the victims, but I am not sure if I want to walk around in shrink wrap all night, yeah? What is everyone being for Halloween? I'm curious! I also might need a "children friendly" costume as well for my volunteering at the Phoenix Symphony, so I would love any and all suggestions.
xox
Monday, October 18, 2010
The 19th Wife
So the MSN home page has these random slideshows about different topics, and I came across one about polygamy. It then lead me to read about Ann Eliza Young, the 19th wife of Brigham Young (the 2nd most famous Mormon leader, or something like that). She wrote a book which I think its like an exploitation of the late 1800's and what the Mormon women of her time were going through. I'm only a couple pages deep, but it's already intriguing. It's about 650 pages long online, so I always have the window open on my computer or in a link. If anyone wants to read it, here's the link
http://www.19thwife.com/pdfs/Wife_No_19_Ann_Eliza_Young.pdf
I'm excited to read this, and hopefully I'll be more educated on the subject of polygamy instead of false notions that I think I have, or who knows maybe they aren't false? Hm...
Anyway, I always love a good non-fiction intrigue.
xox
image by google
http://www.19thwife.com/pdfs/Wife_No_19_Ann_Eliza_Young.pdf
I'm excited to read this, and hopefully I'll be more educated on the subject of polygamy instead of false notions that I think I have, or who knows maybe they aren't false? Hm...
Anyway, I always love a good non-fiction intrigue.
xox
image by google
Tucson Weekend!
I can't BELIEVE my sister is now 21. It's surreal, actually. I mean, I remember when she turned 7 and we were in Disneyworld, and I was 4. I remember she and I were each other's portal to a complete different imaginative world. We played every game together around the house, and made a game out of just about everything. We would wake up what seemed like 5 in the morning, and go right to playing barbies or beanie babies. Those toys did everything with us at the time- When we were ready to eat breakfast, they were at the table with us, and we'd act like our toys were at a lunch date or something. When we watched t.v., it was like the toys were going to the movies together. I mean, eventually that stopped which made me sad (when she got older and became busier), so I just stopped playing with them, too. Who would I play with? Just alone?
Anyway, just a tangent on how this weird feeling that I'm dwelling on that I decided to share. Happy birthday to my 21 year old sister, Michelle. Wow.
I can't imagine how I'll feel when she turns 40- haha!
On a happier note, it was a fun celebration at Carraba's. Many girls from her sorority Tri Delta came, and it was funny to see how these sorority girls actually act. I know this is wrong of me and quite a generalization to say "these sorority girls", but hey. At least I realize what I'm doing. Anyway, they are all so bubbly. Loud, and yes, even the "Oh my god, I know" 's. It was fun though. It's weird.. Even though I am sortof poking fun at them right now, I could see myself being friends with those girls. Yeah, they're extremely girly and some are a bit air-heady, but they are very friendly, and sororities are meant to make lifelong friendships. I'm glad my sister joined one, considering her first year of college she didn't even stay in the dorms so she didn't get to socialize and acquire many friends. And wow of all the days... my sister is extremely sick on her 21st birthday. Of all 365 days out of the year, it has to be her most important birthday. She "stuck through" the dinner as long as she could, and decided to leave early with Shane. Poor thing.
That night, I got to hang out with my two friends from high school -Maddie and Elyse who I missed and haven't gotten to hang out with in a while. We went to a party, and I got to see someone I hadn't seen in probably 2 years who I went to school with, Sandy. It was so weird! He grew like a foot, and his voice was deeper, and, well that's really all I can say I guess haha. I love seeing old friends. When we came back to Elyse's dorm room at around 3, we decided to play "big booty" even though we were not in a serious state of mind hahah! Then we somehow began playing "truth or dare" which basically just evolved into just "truths". Purely sexual questions, haha.
the nightlife is so much better in Tempe, and has more of a city feel. the campus at ASU is just a lot nicer looking. It isn't deserted like the UofA campus was, and there are more people around. I'm not saying this in means of partying or anything; hey- UA is a bigger party school than ASU (which I also take pride in because I have noticed especially the arts people aren't like huge huge partiers.) but I'm just saying people "out & about" wise. I'm not saying I don't love UofA's campus because I think it's beautiful, especially the main strip of grass area.
My weekend was good, and I missed my family a lot, and being able to hang out with them all at the same time. I've been trying to watch what I eat a lot more lately, considering I'm already beginning to gain weight (all I do is stay in the dorms and study!), so I'm trying to eat healthier. I'm not going to go anorexic or anything, I just have to lose some junk in the trunk..the dips in my hips...
Well, I'm off to practice now
Xox
Anyway, just a tangent on how this weird feeling that I'm dwelling on that I decided to share. Happy birthday to my 21 year old sister, Michelle. Wow.
I can't imagine how I'll feel when she turns 40- haha!
On a happier note, it was a fun celebration at Carraba's. Many girls from her sorority Tri Delta came, and it was funny to see how these sorority girls actually act. I know this is wrong of me and quite a generalization to say "these sorority girls", but hey. At least I realize what I'm doing. Anyway, they are all so bubbly. Loud, and yes, even the "Oh my god, I know" 's. It was fun though. It's weird.. Even though I am sortof poking fun at them right now, I could see myself being friends with those girls. Yeah, they're extremely girly and some are a bit air-heady, but they are very friendly, and sororities are meant to make lifelong friendships. I'm glad my sister joined one, considering her first year of college she didn't even stay in the dorms so she didn't get to socialize and acquire many friends. And wow of all the days... my sister is extremely sick on her 21st birthday. Of all 365 days out of the year, it has to be her most important birthday. She "stuck through" the dinner as long as she could, and decided to leave early with Shane. Poor thing.
That night, I got to hang out with my two friends from high school -Maddie and Elyse who I missed and haven't gotten to hang out with in a while. We went to a party, and I got to see someone I hadn't seen in probably 2 years who I went to school with, Sandy. It was so weird! He grew like a foot, and his voice was deeper, and, well that's really all I can say I guess haha. I love seeing old friends. When we came back to Elyse's dorm room at around 3, we decided to play "big booty" even though we were not in a serious state of mind hahah! Then we somehow began playing "truth or dare" which basically just evolved into just "truths". Purely sexual questions, haha.
the nightlife is so much better in Tempe, and has more of a city feel. the campus at ASU is just a lot nicer looking. It isn't deserted like the UofA campus was, and there are more people around. I'm not saying this in means of partying or anything; hey- UA is a bigger party school than ASU (which I also take pride in because I have noticed especially the arts people aren't like huge huge partiers.) but I'm just saying people "out & about" wise. I'm not saying I don't love UofA's campus because I think it's beautiful, especially the main strip of grass area.
My weekend was good, and I missed my family a lot, and being able to hang out with them all at the same time. I've been trying to watch what I eat a lot more lately, considering I'm already beginning to gain weight (all I do is stay in the dorms and study!), so I'm trying to eat healthier. I'm not going to go anorexic or anything, I just have to lose some junk in the trunk..the dips in my hips...
Well, I'm off to practice now
Xox
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Terribly forgotten- KISS!
I never included pictures from the Kiss concert my dad took me to - How forgetful.
Here's a few of the fun concert - we sat 2nd row center!
xox
p.s: As you can tell, I'm doing a little more updating on my blog since I have the time...
Here's a few of the fun concert - we sat 2nd row center!
xox
p.s: As you can tell, I'm doing a little more updating on my blog since I have the time...
Visitors of Friday
On friday, I got an absolutely lovely and fun-filled visit from my two good friends Haley and Jennie (who also blog and are followers of mine as well) - I missed them so much! I hope they visit more often, and I also hope sometime very soon in the future, that I can go visit them at NAU!
We met up on Mill Avenue at Urban (of course..) and then ate at Jimmy John's, a personal favorite of mine - I recommend everyone and ANYONE try it!!!
After eating, we went back to my dorm where we were just absolute sillies for an hour or so.
This is just some pictures from their visit here..
xox
We met up on Mill Avenue at Urban (of course..) and then ate at Jimmy John's, a personal favorite of mine - I recommend everyone and ANYONE try it!!!
After eating, we went back to my dorm where we were just absolute sillies for an hour or so.
This is just some pictures from their visit here..
xox
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Albino in Tempe?
So weirdly enough, my skin tone since moving to Tempe has gotten surprisingly much whiter. Why? I'm always ALWAYS indoors! At least in Prescott, I still went out. Now, if I'm not in class, I'm in my dorm. I am indoors much more now than I have ever been. I bike or walk everywhere, but not long enough to get some color.
I FINALLY get to come home this Friday! It'll actually be exciting; it's my old high school's homecoming game, so I have to get myself once again all dolled up to ride on a golf cart with my lovely King John. I think it will be nice to see everyone that I haven't seen for awhile, including college friends who are coming up from UA as well.
For the life of me, I cannot seem to get a good grade on my music theory stuff- it will never be an A! Now, in high school, I would be happy with a B- however, my standards since I've arrived in college have been put much much higher. Which is good in a way. All this schoolwork also keeps me from practicing a lot everyday, kindof a bummer. I'm lucky if I practice at all a day, haha.
I also got to spend the past weekend with my parents- which was fun! It was lovely to see them. :) My dad took me to the Kiss concert Friday, and it was seriously the best concert I've ever been to. The band Kiss is well known for their showmanship and concerts (known to be the most extravagant), and it definitely was the best concert! Honestly, I don't really care about who is caring, I just love concerts. But, it is a lot better when you actually really like the band playing. We had 2nd row seats, and I caught 5 picks! The only reason why I got so many was because the girl in front of me in the front row had huge boobs, so Gene Simmons (for a while!) was aiming picks in her cleavage. Hell, she didn't care about the picks- she was just flirting with the famous long tongue man with face paint! To my advantage, I would climb over quick and retrieve the picks. It was a great concert, and I can't wait to put photos up.
We also went to the ASU vs. Oregon game.
Happy Tuesday!
xox
P.s: Thank god for FB chat (which I normally extremely dislike!) - Got to catch up with my best friend for a couple hours ;)
Eydn & I ...
I FINALLY get to come home this Friday! It'll actually be exciting; it's my old high school's homecoming game, so I have to get myself once again all dolled up to ride on a golf cart with my lovely King John. I think it will be nice to see everyone that I haven't seen for awhile, including college friends who are coming up from UA as well.
For the life of me, I cannot seem to get a good grade on my music theory stuff- it will never be an A! Now, in high school, I would be happy with a B- however, my standards since I've arrived in college have been put much much higher. Which is good in a way. All this schoolwork also keeps me from practicing a lot everyday, kindof a bummer. I'm lucky if I practice at all a day, haha.
I also got to spend the past weekend with my parents- which was fun! It was lovely to see them. :) My dad took me to the Kiss concert Friday, and it was seriously the best concert I've ever been to. The band Kiss is well known for their showmanship and concerts (known to be the most extravagant), and it definitely was the best concert! Honestly, I don't really care about who is caring, I just love concerts. But, it is a lot better when you actually really like the band playing. We had 2nd row seats, and I caught 5 picks! The only reason why I got so many was because the girl in front of me in the front row had huge boobs, so Gene Simmons (for a while!) was aiming picks in her cleavage. Hell, she didn't care about the picks- she was just flirting with the famous long tongue man with face paint! To my advantage, I would climb over quick and retrieve the picks. It was a great concert, and I can't wait to put photos up.
We also went to the ASU vs. Oregon game.
Happy Tuesday!
xox
P.s: Thank god for FB chat (which I normally extremely dislike!) - Got to catch up with my best friend for a couple hours ;)
Eydn & I ...
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
The Floor's Musical Inspiration
= Brandon.
Which is good, because he has a good music taste. We are currently sitting next to each other on our laptops; him actually using his time well and me...Well this. It's actually really weird. Songs I once really, really enjoyed that were unknown to others are now known to other people on this floor. For instance, "City & Colour". Seriously, NOONE knew about this lovely man before, until Brandon (also a lover of City & Colour surprisingly!) publicized C&C to the entire floor, haha. He's a popular boy, and he populizes things pretty quick. It's a gift.
this is one of my favorites by him : Love Don't Live Here Anymore. (It's actually quite depressing hah)
Anyway, I have such a busy day ahead of me, and I already am missing my home town. It's not surprising; most kids once they leave they always say "Oh I hated it! Never coming back!" - but me ... I always treasured my time there and I am one of the few that miss it.
I'm not sure where to start with my life so far... I've been absolutely wiped out the past couple days. Even if I get 8 hours of sleep (which is SO rare), I still end up being exhausted throughout the day. I'm just so burned out that I am really, really exhausted all time. I also have a lot of homework to do, and lots and lots of practicing which I haven't been doing unfortunately. I want so badly for my violin teacher to be proud that I'm in her studio, but i don't know if she will after this week. I've had so much homework that I've pulled almost 3 all nighters (almost all night) because of the work load.
- This is actually all from last week; I just haven't had time to post it. How sad is that?
I am crazed with anticipation and excitement for tomorrow, the "Glee" 2nd season premiere. It's been on my calendar for months :)
I haven't been up to much lately; I am pretty excited for this weekend though: Family Weekend at ASU. I haven't seen my parents in almost a month - It's weird! Hopefully they'll want to go to the game with me??
I miss my old friends, even if I'm making new ones.
xox
brandon and I working diligently on our computers...
Which is good, because he has a good music taste. We are currently sitting next to each other on our laptops; him actually using his time well and me...Well this. It's actually really weird. Songs I once really, really enjoyed that were unknown to others are now known to other people on this floor. For instance, "City & Colour". Seriously, NOONE knew about this lovely man before, until Brandon (also a lover of City & Colour surprisingly!) publicized C&C to the entire floor, haha. He's a popular boy, and he populizes things pretty quick. It's a gift.
this is one of my favorites by him : Love Don't Live Here Anymore. (It's actually quite depressing hah)
Anyway, I have such a busy day ahead of me, and I already am missing my home town. It's not surprising; most kids once they leave they always say "Oh I hated it! Never coming back!" - but me ... I always treasured my time there and I am one of the few that miss it.
I'm not sure where to start with my life so far... I've been absolutely wiped out the past couple days. Even if I get 8 hours of sleep (which is SO rare), I still end up being exhausted throughout the day. I'm just so burned out that I am really, really exhausted all time. I also have a lot of homework to do, and lots and lots of practicing which I haven't been doing unfortunately. I want so badly for my violin teacher to be proud that I'm in her studio, but i don't know if she will after this week. I've had so much homework that I've pulled almost 3 all nighters (almost all night) because of the work load.
- This is actually all from last week; I just haven't had time to post it. How sad is that?
I am crazed with anticipation and excitement for tomorrow, the "Glee" 2nd season premiere. It's been on my calendar for months :)
I haven't been up to much lately; I am pretty excited for this weekend though: Family Weekend at ASU. I haven't seen my parents in almost a month - It's weird! Hopefully they'll want to go to the game with me??
I miss my old friends, even if I'm making new ones.
xox
brandon and I working diligently on our computers...
Monday, September 13, 2010
Changes in the Land
The book that I have to write a 4-5 page paper on entitled
Changes in the Land: Indians, Colonists, and the Ecology of New England by William Cronon
is a testament and proof that shows why some men or even women are so bland that result in them never getting married.
Please by any chance avoid taking History 109 at ASU for this reason and this reason only..having to read this book, and writing a paper on it.
Don't get me wrong.. the teacher is actually really cool and he makes powerpoints for our notes during lecture which are extremely helpful. However I could have so easily done without reading this book. ...and STILL reading it.
All nighter (or close to all nighter I'm expecting)..here I come.
Changes in the Land: Indians, Colonists, and the Ecology of New England by William Cronon
is a testament and proof that shows why some men or even women are so bland that result in them never getting married.
Please by any chance avoid taking History 109 at ASU for this reason and this reason only..having to read this book, and writing a paper on it.
Don't get me wrong.. the teacher is actually really cool and he makes powerpoints for our notes during lecture which are extremely helpful. However I could have so easily done without reading this book. ...and STILL reading it.
All nighter (or close to all nighter I'm expecting)..here I come.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
"Where is Tiffany?"
Apparently this is a question frequently asked to my roommate and others, because I'm never around. While doing my homework in my room, my room mate and our friend down the hall was reading a Vogue mag in our room, when she randomly says,
"I have a confession/observation proposition to make to you."
Okay, what could this be?
She continues on with, "We all feel like you are never here, and we don't want you to turn into Karina (her roommate who is never there because she's always with her boyfriend). We always never know where you are, and we feel like you are always just with your boyfriend all the time." Then, my roommate chimes in with, "Yeah like 50 people asked me where you were today" (obviously an exaggeration).
I was so taken back, I didn't respond for a couple seconds - I had to muster my thoughts. Finally, I replied, "You guys do realize I am a music ed major being treated like a performance major as well - I HAVE to practice on top of my 18 hour work load. I haven't even seen Tyler all week so I'm not sure what you guys are talking about."
Something like that. Anyway, I feel like they are getting mad at me because I have a boyfriend, and that I'm not hanging out with them every free second I get. Yeah - I have hung out with my boyfriend of almost a year and a half, MY BAD! I feel like only people that are actually in relationships understand the breaking and dividing of time commitments. I have so much going on; I'm balancing practicing, studying, homework, orchestra, relationships.. It's a lot to balance. I'm almost a month into school and I'm still adjusting. Tyler never gets mad when I can't see him during the week, ever. He understands I'm in class and that I have an overload of classwork. I was so insulted that my "friends" could tell me how to manage my time, saying "We don't want you to turn out like Karina"... Ok, so Karina isn't very social and her boyfriend is her life... but that is HER. That is her choice. Who cares if she is obsessed with the t.v. show "Friends"? It' is her choice, and I don't understand why these girls have to be so critical (or just 'girl' I suppose..) of the others on this floor. I am at the dorms when no one else is, because my schedule starts early unlike theirs. They think I'm never there, but they just aren't there when I am.
Also, I haven't really felt included for a while, either. The girls are always making plans to do things together, and it's like the kind of invite that goes, "Oh, well you can come if you want" ... I am not for after-thought invites at all. If someone isn't directly inviting me or is saying "if you want" that is not exactly an invitation to me. This might all sound old fashioned or stupid, but I just think invites like that are kindof rude. Like, they didn't even think to include me in the original plan, but when they talk about it in front of me, oh okay she can come. No, not okay. And that really hurts me. They wonder why I'm not jumping for joy to hang out with them, and that's why.
"I have a confession/observation proposition to make to you."
Okay, what could this be?
She continues on with, "We all feel like you are never here, and we don't want you to turn into Karina (her roommate who is never there because she's always with her boyfriend). We always never know where you are, and we feel like you are always just with your boyfriend all the time." Then, my roommate chimes in with, "Yeah like 50 people asked me where you were today" (obviously an exaggeration).
I was so taken back, I didn't respond for a couple seconds - I had to muster my thoughts. Finally, I replied, "You guys do realize I am a music ed major being treated like a performance major as well - I HAVE to practice on top of my 18 hour work load. I haven't even seen Tyler all week so I'm not sure what you guys are talking about."
Something like that. Anyway, I feel like they are getting mad at me because I have a boyfriend, and that I'm not hanging out with them every free second I get. Yeah - I have hung out with my boyfriend of almost a year and a half, MY BAD! I feel like only people that are actually in relationships understand the breaking and dividing of time commitments. I have so much going on; I'm balancing practicing, studying, homework, orchestra, relationships.. It's a lot to balance. I'm almost a month into school and I'm still adjusting. Tyler never gets mad when I can't see him during the week, ever. He understands I'm in class and that I have an overload of classwork. I was so insulted that my "friends" could tell me how to manage my time, saying "We don't want you to turn out like Karina"... Ok, so Karina isn't very social and her boyfriend is her life... but that is HER. That is her choice. Who cares if she is obsessed with the t.v. show "Friends"? It' is her choice, and I don't understand why these girls have to be so critical (or just 'girl' I suppose..) of the others on this floor. I am at the dorms when no one else is, because my schedule starts early unlike theirs. They think I'm never there, but they just aren't there when I am.
Also, I haven't really felt included for a while, either. The girls are always making plans to do things together, and it's like the kind of invite that goes, "Oh, well you can come if you want" ... I am not for after-thought invites at all. If someone isn't directly inviting me or is saying "if you want" that is not exactly an invitation to me. This might all sound old fashioned or stupid, but I just think invites like that are kindof rude. Like, they didn't even think to include me in the original plan, but when they talk about it in front of me, oh okay she can come. No, not okay. And that really hurts me. They wonder why I'm not jumping for joy to hang out with them, and that's why.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Intimidating
Today was my first studio meeting for violin (for Jiang's studio), and now I'm scared, and intimidated. Everyone there is better than me..and I know it should just be making me want to play harder and better, but to be honest - it's intimidating me and making me shy away. I mean, why bother playing? People that are my own age are much better than me. I am in this state of being both overwhelmed and intimidated at the same time. I wish I took violin more seriously these past couple years, maybe I'd be not so intimidated right now.
I practiced for almost 6 hours yesterday (not consecutively, 3 earlier in the day & almost 3 later that night), and my fingers were so, so sore after. I feel like if I wanted to be a music major, then I should be used to it. Of course now, I'm not a performance major, and before the studio meeting lesson I probably would've said, "yet" with that, but now I am just too scared. I feel way too far behind. I mean, yeah I can try as hard as I want, and I can practice for hours every day - but they and everyone else are always going to be steps ahead.
Maybe, I could look at the other side. Maybe I can think, "that just means you have to work double hard", and it's all about how much I want it, how much I want to get better. I do want to get better, and I want to be considered a good musician to these other classmates of mine. They haven't heard me play, but I am the only music ed major out of all of them, and you know they're all thinking "she's JUST music ed." Music ed majors are typically not good enough to be professional, haha. There's another side - my professor did want me in her studio even just every other week, which is awesome. So, perhaps I'll just have to work harder, and not let her down. All this lady can teach me is good higher knowledge, so I should be taking advantage of it, and "soaking it up like a sponge" as my previous violin teacher would say I do.
All I can do is practice, I guess. Just practice, practice, practice. I was hoping to double major in performance and ed, but ASU doesn't allow first years to do that. Apparently, you have to choose one or the other. That's such a hard decison: I defintely want an education degree under my belt, because I love teaching. However, I also want the technique of a performance major. I don't want to be the typical teacher that is just teaching because they teach better than they play, or weren't advanced enough. I want to be versatile; be able to say yes - I can teach, but I can also rip at the violin, haha.
I am so looking forward to this weekend - I need this break! Today I decided I am not practicing until I start AND finish the music history literature class paper that is due tomorrow. I have all weekend to practice...and do homework...
Anyway, that's about all for now - I better start working on this paper. Then practice ...no 6 hour session or anything though!
xox
just a little fun with my webcam a little while back - welcome night at ASU
I practiced for almost 6 hours yesterday (not consecutively, 3 earlier in the day & almost 3 later that night), and my fingers were so, so sore after. I feel like if I wanted to be a music major, then I should be used to it. Of course now, I'm not a performance major, and before the studio meeting lesson I probably would've said, "yet" with that, but now I am just too scared. I feel way too far behind. I mean, yeah I can try as hard as I want, and I can practice for hours every day - but they and everyone else are always going to be steps ahead.
Maybe, I could look at the other side. Maybe I can think, "that just means you have to work double hard", and it's all about how much I want it, how much I want to get better. I do want to get better, and I want to be considered a good musician to these other classmates of mine. They haven't heard me play, but I am the only music ed major out of all of them, and you know they're all thinking "she's JUST music ed." Music ed majors are typically not good enough to be professional, haha. There's another side - my professor did want me in her studio even just every other week, which is awesome. So, perhaps I'll just have to work harder, and not let her down. All this lady can teach me is good higher knowledge, so I should be taking advantage of it, and "soaking it up like a sponge" as my previous violin teacher would say I do.
All I can do is practice, I guess. Just practice, practice, practice. I was hoping to double major in performance and ed, but ASU doesn't allow first years to do that. Apparently, you have to choose one or the other. That's such a hard decison: I defintely want an education degree under my belt, because I love teaching. However, I also want the technique of a performance major. I don't want to be the typical teacher that is just teaching because they teach better than they play, or weren't advanced enough. I want to be versatile; be able to say yes - I can teach, but I can also rip at the violin, haha.
I am so looking forward to this weekend - I need this break! Today I decided I am not practicing until I start AND finish the music history literature class paper that is due tomorrow. I have all weekend to practice...and do homework...
Anyway, that's about all for now - I better start working on this paper. Then practice ...no 6 hour session or anything though!
xox
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)