times like these

Hangouts like last night just really blow my mind. In a good way. They're bittersweet in a way.  How could it get any better?? And then it does. Evenings like last night make me ask myself "how could we ever be apart ever again" ? How? I don't understand. Everything just fits and flows and is so organic. How could we ever want to be apart after this. Sorry, how could he want to be apart especially after times like yesterday.

Being with his family is something I really do treasure. It used to bug me being around really happy families who get along really well, but I have never once felt that way with his family. Ever. Even though his family dynamic is so different from my family's, I have never felt so at ease as I do there.  Another thing that means seriously the world to me is whenever I go over there for dinner on Shabbat, his mom blesses me too.  Like I am her child.  It makes me smile and I feel so full of love after something that takes 8 seconds. It's just the meaning behind that makes me want to just hug her.  I love his family. I am pretty sure he doesn't like mine though haha. He has seen the not so wonderful sides of my family that I am embarrassed to admit even occur.

Last night was just really chill.  I was okay with just sitting there with him on his bed in silence (Something I have NEVER been okay with until him) until he was ready to talk to me - I knew something was up in his mind but it would take awhile to warm up. We just talked about a lot, got a lot out in the open and it was so refreshing. Although, I am still confused as to what he meant when he said that he feels like things have come full circle, about moving or something. I may need reclarification.

I love this guy so much. I know neither of us have really dated a lot of other people.  But that should not retract from the sincerity and depth of what I feel. It shouldn't be any less validating because I am only 23, or that I haven't had "7 boyfriends" - as a wise educator told me (she said I should have at least 7 boyfriends before I decide to be with 'the one').

I know soulmates aren't a thing. But everyone has a choice. Even though my choice isn't something that has to be permanent, I have to see where it goes. Because I've never experienced anything so nerve-wracking (because I care so fucking much) and perfect at the same time.