Almost Speechless

I will only know how I feel at this exact moment; almost midnight, just have left starbucks parking lot.

Seeing the movie American Reunion tonight- watching the characters reminisce on high school memories and old high school flames got me thinking... I am still on my "old" high school flame. I have a high school sweet heart. Just seeing that after almost 11 years these couples had seen each other again and those feelings started up again ... brought back my insecurities. Is that what I would have to hope doesn't happen to the person I care about if they were ever going to run into a first love? an old flame? of course it brought back my insecurities, and I am going to partially blame it on my anxiety medication because I have certainly not been taking it religiously.

Having a bad lesson always affects like your entire week.

These past couple weeks have been somewhat of a blur. I've been through a lot; actually I've just thought of a lot. I've done lots of reflecting... a lot of good thinking. Is this what I want? Where was it before?


I can only think to myself that the only logical thing to do at this point was to find our own separate identities again. Find what kindled that flame in the first place.


To mention what's been going on in my life, just hanging out with the same old friends, still in a little mental rut but I am hoping to overcome it once school is out.


I wish I had more to say.