Oh, what a night. Story tangents trailing...

This morning at around almost 2 am, my brother began texting and calling me, asking "Hey if you come pick me up at the bars right now I'll buy you breakfast - I'm hungry!" etc etc, so that was enough for me. Not like I need food to bribe me to go pick him up; I do anyway! I'd rather I drive him than him getting a ride from a cab.
Anyway, I didn't realize how popular Denny's was for bar-goers at 2 am. My brother then added that every older person you see coming in was from the bars on Whiskey Row. Whiskey Row by the way is this part in downtown Prescott that is just bar after bar. So my brother pointed out for me all the cougars, ho-fa-shos, d-bags, and other categories which actually turned out to be fun, because I started to guess what people were haha. I even pointed out some people that could be on the next season of Jersey Shore - gross. I really enjoyed myself, even if at first I was half awake. My brother and I talked about alot, lots of gossip which was actually a different kind of gossip that I usually partake in, considering it was with a guy. I also shared some problems of mine with my brother, including my ridiculous curfew at age 18 - Yes, everyone I do have a curfew - it JUST got bumped to midnight when I turned 18 haha. before that it was 10/10:30. Kindof sad, and my brother actually said he was probably going to have a talk with them because of the restrictions they still have on me, at my age.

You'd think that I'm some like horrible slut child who screws everything that walks; they're trying to somehow preserve me or something. My parents have already told me they think I'm some "wild child", which in all reality, that means I'm normal and that I can strike up conversation with people. Something my parents weren't used to seeing my brother or sister doing. I guess my personality is very similar to my dad's; he is a very affable person, and can literally become friends with anyone. He has become friends with just about every waiter we have at restaurants, Costco staff (since our parents shop there probably just about every day), the list goes on. I feel like I should take pride in the fact that since about my Junior year, I've been able to be like that; talk to anyone, and not feel scared shitless. They make me feel like that's bad, like it's not good to be talking to anyone. I remember times during early high school when I'd come home, and the first thing my sister would say to me was, "So who was that guy that hugged you in the hall today?" or, "Who was that different guy you were talking to?", or the infamous, "Who was the guys I saw you flirting with today?" It was seriously almost like she was destined to make me a caged rabbit for my high school social life. That only fueled my parents to make further restrictions; up until my Junior year I was home by 9 pm, and I wasn't allowed to hang out on weekends. And all that did was just make me act up, and be a nuisance. I literally would do exactly the opposite of what my parents would tell me to do in any situation, and that obviously didn't help my case.

The things I went through in high school with my parents - I don't know how I coped with it. Actually I do. I wrote a TON. I almost finished 2 diaries, and then that was even invaded I remember - all my thoughts, secrets, crushes, just complete privacy was taken away, invaded, and stomped all over. Next thing I knew, my mom was asking me, "Who's sam? Is that the guy that you danced with at homecoming?" (thinking it was this guy, when really it was another sam, a sam whose mom she had been friends with since him and I were about 4 haha.) "Who's Jesse? Do you two text alot? Do you send pictures to eachother? Are you dating?" And everything started adding up. Various journal entries were resurfacing, things I definitely was not okay with them knowing - after all, that's what a diary is meant for... privacy. I remember as soon as I realized they read my diary, I had this burning feeling. I was seething; just livid. It felt like my body was honestly the color scarlet red, that's how hot I felt. At the same time though, I felt embarrassment. It was like that heated embarrassment feeling in your face that you get if say, you rip your pants in front of the whole school during your first dance at a pep assembly with the dance team in high school - OH WAIT I've done that!!!
I didn't know if I should let them know, or keep it to myself. I did for awhile, and like every normal American teenager, I raged at one point and let it all unleash, like some bear haha. It destroyed my relationship with my parents, and I never trusted them again after that.

It all didn't turn around until I started to date Tyler, because I realized I couldn't have a relationship with someone else without having a relationship with my parents first. Maybe I'll do a "first date post" of mine and tyler's first date, because that's a long enough story I deem worthy of having it's own post.

Anyway, my parents and I get along fine now, but they still don't really trust me. I'm coping, I think. :)

On to worse points of my evening, I don't think I could say I've ever really yelled at Tyler until yesterday night. I must've yelled so loudly (and for so long, God.) because my head is still throbbing right now, and it is 11:28 am. God damn, must be the asian background in me. I actually do think most Asian parents scream alot, because my good friend in college who's Asian had literally the same growing up experiences (like IDENTICAL!) like I did. Unfortunately. And both of us have 100% asian parent/s. SOOO, on a more unfortunate note I did unleash my little angry Asian woman in me last night, screaming,crying, whatever little crazy Asian ladies do. Now just to note this, I feel I can make fun of Asian ladies because I am Asian myself. So if I catch any of you saying anything bad about Asians, I'll kick your ass. Haha.
Hopefully Tyler's okay? Our argument did continue to this morning (not through all night or anything).

I feel as though I probably shouldn't end such a lengthy, juicy post, or really any of my negative feeling posts .. negatively. Like I actually have in the past. So maybe I should end this on a good note. I think Tyler's coming over, and hopefully we'll watch a movie and be happy again. Because I miss him dearly, even if he's the #1 thing that pisses me off the most in this world. Afterall, he's also the #1 thing that makes me the happiest, too.

Strange.


xox