Dream Interpretation, no. 2

I had quite the strange dream, but it also brought lots of insight through dreammoods.com...

The following I decided to look up in the dictionary:

Tiger
To see a tiger in your dream, represents power and your ability to exert it in various situations. The dream may also indicate that you need to take more of a leadership role. Alternatively, the tiger represents female sexuality, aggression, and seduction.

To dream that you are attacked by a tiger, symbolizes repressed feelings or emotions that you are frightened of.

Frame
To frame a picture in your dream, represents a wish to have a current situation or relationship remain the same as it is now. You dread change. Consider what is depicted on the picture for additional significance.

To see a frame in your dream, represents limitations and boundaries. You or someone else may be putting restrictions on you. Alternatively, it symbolizes vanity. The dream may be a pun on being "framed" for something you did not do.

Boulder
To see a boulder in your dream, symbolizes a major obstacle and problem in some component of your life.

Rock Climbing
To dream that you are rock climbing, symbolizes your struggle, determination and ambition. You are not any letting obstacles get in the way of your goal.

Library
To dream that you are in a library, signifies your search for knowledge and your hunger for ideas. If the library is disorganized, then it suggests that too much information is coming at you at the same time. You are having difficulty sorting it all out.



Well! That might've seemed extremely random to you... Tiger, frame, rock climbing, boulder, library.. But it kindof all makes sense to me, especially since it reflects on a certain situation. You all probably know who and what anyway, haha. Something that took a huge toll over me this entire weekend, which it shouldn't have in the first place because everything was blown extremely out of proportion.

I don't know what to do. With all this information, my dream is tellng me this about each---

Tiger: power and ability to exert in certain situations - I was extremely fired up in an argument yesterday..yelling, all that. I had so much anger and aggression. It was the only way to protect myself it seemed, or to get my point across.
attacked by a tiger... repressed feelings - Yeah, definitely had a lot of those. I felt like everything I was saying yesterday was getting shut down. I kept being told I don't listen, when he wasn't doing much listening either. It was so hard.

Frame: picture frame - It was so weird. In my dream, my dad told me the tiger wasn't real, so he literally threw the tiger and then it became small, fake, and in a frame. From the interpretation, I believe this is also, as all these, dealing with my relationship. The dream interpretations says I dread change, (which is true), and I wish for everything to remain the same. That isn't true.. partially. I wish things were how they were when him and I first started dating. He used to want to hang out with me... not put me for last and hang out with everyone first if we were fighting. He used to care to fix things. That was one of the biggest things I liked so much about him was because when I was stubborn and mad, he was there, still, trying to fix it, talk to me. He was understanding, caring - even if we were mad at each other. It's all changed now. It's not like that anymore. I wish we could go back to how it was in the beginning. What made it change? Did we change each other?

Boulder: major obstacle, problem in waking life - yeah, this is true. It was a major, MAJOR problem yesterday. He isn't even sure if we should fix it. Why should I bother listening to anything he is yelling at me if he told me straight up he has never been able to say how he has felt, ever, during this whole relationship. Our whole relationship is a lie then. I always thought that was one of the strengths of our relationship. That we could talk to each other, tell each other how we were feeling. I feel like everything that was ever said to me has been a lie this whole time now. I don't know what to do. I feel so hurt.

Rock Climbing: struggle, determination, not letting obstacles get in the way of goal - Maybe this is partially right. For a while I wasn't going to let anything make it fall apart, but I feel in such defeat that it really isn't worth even trying to fix anymore. He's obviously given up, and I am so confused what to do. All I ever wanted for was him to care, unconditionally. Not just when we're happy, but even when we're upset. It used to be that way, but I think I just realized it hasn't been that way for a long time.

Library: Disorganized library - Too much information was being thrown at me yesterday. All that he was saying just made me want to shut him up. I didn't need to listen anymore. It really got to me this time. With the stuff he said, I realized I didn't need to listen to anything else he needed to say, because I basically got the important information I needed. I don't get the feeling there is 100% commitment. It's like everytime we argue, it turns into this sob fest where he can't say anything, and feels like he wants to die. I can do without the drama, and let's get the real issue.

I have so much to think about. And even worse, he has to take me down to Tempe today. Great. More opportunity to hurt me. I have to find my iPod, otherwise I don't know how I'll make it down to Tempe without hurting someone, haha.
I wish someone could just tell me what to do. Because if someone says, (and has) "I think you guys need a break", I can't do it. I'm not strong enough. I like to think that when I tell him that I'm done with it, that I really am. But I'm not. I bet today he'll end up saying that things will change, or it will get better. Or that he loves me. Or even sorry. Sorry isn't good enough, and hasn't been for a while. I guess what I've always wanted most was to feel cared for, and I do when we're good. But when we're not, I feel like scum. What terrible things did I do to deserve how I'm treated when we're mad at each other? Even when we are mad at each other, I have never put him off. Ever. I always prioritize, and especially when we're arguing I will prioritize even more to make it better. I don't get that same simple courtesy back, and I'm tired of it. I was put off 2 days in a row, because he wanted to eat food, and hang out with his friends. What am I supposed to do in the meantime? It hurt me so much, that I was so willing to just fix it all, and he would rather hang out with his friends. Last night, I was planning to hang out with friends because I was tired of just moping around. I ended up having to call Tyler because he had a few things of mine that I needed for both today and yesterday (that including my dorm room keys) and that's when our yelling started. And it just got worse. and he didn't care. Not at all. I decided I couldn't go to my friend's house anymore because I looked horrible. I wasted all that time getting ready, and putting makeup on (which i don't do anymore rarely) to go have a good time, and I ended up sitting in my car in the Abia Judd Elementary school parking lot, crying. Sobbing. I cried and cried. I hoped so badly, that even after we got off the phone, that he'd care enough to come see me or something. Or text me. Anything. I got nothing. I sat there, called my best friend and she made me feel alot better temporarily. As always, I gave in and I called him when I got home and then texted. You know what I got? He turned off his phone. It hurt me even more. I don't know why I'm so weak... Why do I always have to say something first? God... all I want is to just feel cared for! Even when it's bad. Even when he feels like he wants to break something, talk to me. Don't ignore me and act like I don't exist. Don't treat me like I've never done anything for you. I could list off what i feel I've done for him, but what is the point of all that. Nothing at all. It wouldn't benefit anyone, except me for maybe 4 minutes to feel better, but then I'd just feel sad again.
On top of that, I'm not like him. He sleeps like a baby, no matter what. Me.. If there are problems, I can't go to bed well, at all. I probably woke up every hour or so the whole night, and I woke up with the worst headache of my life and Japanese girl eyes (I can say 'Japanese girl eyes' because I'm part asian. otherwise you all could deem this racist). I got a text from him at 3 in the morning saying he'd give me a ride. My hope was so far fetched. He was out with is friends till 3 in the morning. He wasn't ever going to come see me, or even give me the courtesy of a phone call. Not at all.

I know what I should do, but I can't. I'm not strong enough.