Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Stress is Back!

You might all think, "Okay, she is just overreacting on her stress. She can't possibly be THAT stressed all the time."

So, I am including my schedule what I have to get done today. This isn't so you all feel bad for me or anything; I'm just simply doing it because I don't want you all to think I'm a whiny baby who complains about stress if it's nothing! and hey, maybe this isn't that stressful to some, and I will definitely APPLAUD whoever you are on that and I wish I was on top of things like you are ;)

I have to admit though; the reason why I will and am able to accomplish my many tasks throughout the week or whatever, is because I write EVERYTHING down in my planner, and I'm a freak about making lists. I make a list for whatever I do, whether it be for packing for the Philippines, coming home for the weekend, what I'll bring back from home back to the dorm, what I need for a violin lesson, for the week, for the day, you name it I have list for it! I have definitely become much more organized because of this.

Ever since I missed a performance my senior year (a very important one), I have never missed anything since. That was one of the most terrible feelings I've ever had; when I missed that performance. I was supposed to play in the lobby of the Yavapai College Concert Hall before the Phoenix Symphony concert, and I didn't show up. I felt so, so terrible and even worse: my violin teacher's wife is the one that asked me to do it, and she's the President of the Symphony Guild (which I regularly participated in). It was bad. terrible. I made a vow from that day that I was on top of my own stuff from then, and I wouldn't miss another thing again. I mean, I could blame my mom too since she usually knows when I have performances and stuff and she totally forgot too, but I really can't blame her, right? It's my thing. Haha.



So, here is my list that I wrote for today to have accomplished by tomorrow:

-withdraw $$$ for Jiang
-stop by studio for violin bow and DVD
-begin application for Germany festival
-Try and accomplish the Scholarship letter
-Saxophone reading and take notes, page 341-348
-Buy guitar books (2)
-Write and Print off Reflection for class 7:30 am Wednesday
-Theory HW, ex. 2-4
-if time: Buy a unlimited fitness card
-Practice
...Violin
- Barber Concerto : work out new fingerings and bowings, have ready by Thursday
- Scales : slowly, make sure every note 'rings'
... Piano
- Prelude : Memorize if possible, by Thursday
- Bb Major Scale, steady tempo
- A Minor, Nat.Minor, Harm. Minor 3 or 4 octaves, moderate steady
... Saxophone
- C Major Scale, 2 octaves
- A,Ab,A with mouthpiece IN TUNE!

-Write and turn in application for Piano Accompanist Pool





Today is a stress day, so thank goodness I got out early! Speaking of saxophone, gosh is it hard! I am so terrible at it.. but hey I am strictly a strings girl! Violin, cello, piano, bass, that's my thing - NOT things you use your lungs or diaphragm for, haha. I'm coping though, and it definitely is a challenge - and did I mention fun?!

Tomorrow I will probably just focus on my scholarship application and practicing. Man, I hope I get the scholarship. I think I've worked for it, at least.

Happy happy Tuesday to everyone! There is something about Tuesdays I like. Maybe it's because Glee is on Tuesdays? Who really knows.

To update on my last bland, angry post: I am not angry anymore, and I no longer feel the need to throw a pot at my boyfriend's head, haha.

xox

Friday, January 21, 2011

I'm still alive.

Man, it's been a while since I last blogged! I was just so time consumed with the Philippines trip, and then once I got back I had caught some bad bug from the Philippines. So I'm actually still recovering! I haven't been this sick for a long time I will say.
So much has happened, so I'm going to see where I can begin!

I did start school though on Tuesday, and my schedule has been... quite an adjustment from last semester! I have one class that is a 4 credit class that is completely online, and my english class is 1/2 online which I absolutely love. I'm not really in a good mood right now, so I'm not sure how my mood shows in my writing currently - I'm guessing bland, huh.

God, boyfriends. Can't live with them, and literally cannot live without them. Sometimes I wish mine was in distance so i could throw a pot at him. Is that bad? I can't be the only girl that's ever wished that. But I have every right to; considering he flirts with a girl on my floor everytime he visits, right in front of me, and would rather talk to her. Seriously, it's really obvious. But what can ya do? Nothing.

On an even more dissapointing note even more than my disappointment boyfriend, my mom FINALLY confronted me about me doin the dirty! I know, what a RELIEF. I don't have to lie anymore! Yeah, I say it's a relief, but it's also sad.
It's sad because my mom doesn't look at me the same anymore. Not like my parents and I were ever close, but they barely talk to me now, and my dad also seems as if he can barely look at me. It's kindof a downer, and makes me feel like I should just leave the house or something - but hey, I'm coping.

I'm back in school, I have new classes, and it's a lot less stressful - I think. This semester I'm actually going to try working out more, and going to more fitness classes to stay healthy! More updates when I have more time...

xox

Friday, January 7, 2011

Update on Manila #2 (part 2)

Now, for the rest of the trip. I’m trying to think back to what we have done so far; a lot has been hanging with my family, or shopping. My sister is still being pretty bratty; for instance, yesterday on the way to seeing Tron in Imax, I sat on the right side in the back. She opens the door and goes, “Why are you changing the routine now? Are you not switching? Go to the other side – this isn’t your side.” Yes, I am not lying nor exaggerating, it was like we were 7 again. She was actually getting mad about what side to sit on. Really? I thought we grew out of that years ago. She couldn’t throw her normal fit, which if this were with my parents, she would have and they would have also made me move ha. Since we were with my mom’s best friend’s daughter and nephew though, she kept her cool and got her point across that she was deeply offended that I sat on the right side of the car. I really should’ve recorded these conversations, but I wouldn’t want to embarrass her any more than I probably am right now. Oops.

By the way, Tron was absolutely, I don’t even know. One of my facebook friends described Tron as a “graphics orgasm explosion” with great music also done by Daft Punk, and it totally was. Holy mother of Jerusalem. Loved it. At first, the guy was not that good looking to me. My sister was even like, “OOH He is CUTE!” when they showed him the very first time, and I was not impressed. “My boyfriend’s cuter,” was my response. Throughout the movie, his face started to grow on me, and I found him cuter by the end. Not like that was an important detail or opinion. And I still think my boyfriend is cuter haha.

Why did I go into detail about Tron? This is my PHILIPPINES UPDATE!!!!
To continue with my update, I feel like such a spectacle here in the Philippines. They don’t really see many Americans around here too often I don’t think; so when they see me, they are just staring. It’s not like a creepy eye rape stare or anything; it’s more like a stare of admiration. Even on New Year’s Eve, some of the guys took pictures of me! I don’t think they knew I saw, but yeah it’s kinda hard to not see a huge flash in your direction at nighttime. When we go to the malls, usually I can pick my nose, itch an itch in a place one would normally not itch, at any time with no worry. When I am here, eyes are always watching me, looking at me, so I literally can’t pick my nose or do any of those other “unladylike” things here, haha. It’s weird, I think Asians like me better, and in Italy, they like my sister better. I remember when we went to Italy, she made like every guy’s head turn. But then in the Philippines, that’s me. And it’s weird. I usually don’t really get that kind of reaction, and I’m still not used to it. I honestly didn’t want to turn this into a brag-fest either, so I’ll stop. That’s definitely not the point I wanted to make here, ha!

Today we are going to Tagaytay with my Tita Nini, and I am HOPING we are doing some spa-like things. Tagaytay (pronounced tah-gai-tai) is cooler in climate, and has no wireless service at the house we are staying at (my Tita Nini’s house), so I’ve actually been writing these last 2 posts on word and copy pasting to blogger. Smart, I know. Anyway, Tagaytay is beautiful. My parents were looking into buying a lot here to build a nice home, but the people wanted way to much so they decided not to. It was like the same price as if they were to buy a huge lot and an already built house. A little ridiculous. My parents plan to retire here, and my dad is already looking into moving here a couple months at a time, coming back every couple months to the states. I’m really hoping that my dad will buy me another ticket for here in June, because my cousin is getting married and she wants me and my sister to be a part of it. It’s kindof expensive though. That’s why Armie (my cousin getting married), Grace (my cousin I’m closest to), and me are going to triple-team my dad and beg!

Aside from shopping and Tagaytay, we haven’t seen my family since Sunday and I miss them! I like being here, because here I have family. When I’m in the states, I don’t have family besides my direct family. I don’t have cousins to visit, grandparents whatsoever (really, I have no grandparents- they’re all dead.. it’s not like I don’t want to see them.), or aunts or uncles. Nothing. I wish I could live here longer, or just bring all my family from the Philippines to the US, so I can feel like I have family, and I could just visit them and be around a bunch of family. I don’t have that feeling often, and I think that’s why I don’t like being around other people’s families, because I usually feel inferior, and don’t want to be around other big, huge, close happy families. Because I guess mine is sort of cracked. There is definitely cracks in both sides of the family that need to be mended, however I’m not sure they ever will be. I think I’m going to make myself a promise now that when I’m on my own when I am older, I’m going to try and visit my family in the Philippines at least once every year. I am not waiting 8 years again to see all my family. Not ever again.

On a happier note, I made myself a New Year’s Resolution that I plan on keeping. Now more than ever, seeing meat in stores and eating places makes me so sad. I actually almost get a nauseating feeling whenever I see meat, and then think about the poor animal and what it was going through before being slaughtered. SO, if it wasn’t already obvious from the previous statement, my New Year’s Resolution is to become Vegetarian! I’m extremely excited about it actually, and I feel like I will definitely be, and feel more healthy without clogging my body up with unwanted hormones, pesticides, and whatever else the nasty meat in the US has now. Everyone should watch the documentaries “Food Inc” and “The Cove”, as well as read up on Foie Gras and Veal steak. I think you might think twice about what you eat after these. The Cove is actually my favorite documentary. When I went to the Oceanarium Park here with my little cousin MJ and my family, I found out we were seeing a sea lion show while at the park, and I already wasn’t excited anymore. The whole time throughout the show, the audience loves it. I mean, I used to, too. Everyone’s smiling, clapping, in awe. This time though, I didn’t clap. I wasn’t amused by anything, because I knew the sea lions were acting that way because they were being starved.

Like all these tangents I go off on? I’ll stop.

Today is my cousin Grace’s birthday, and we will be at her place tonight to celebrate with dinner. Then, tomorrow night, we are going clubbing! I’m really excited, because I’ve never been clubbing before – I’m not old enough! So it’ll be fun to go out with all my cousins and her friends, and just have a good time together. As far as home, I miss it a lot, and I miss all my friends, and my Tyler. I have a week left though, so I’m going to make this as absolutely best as I can!

Xox to all, and another update will be coming eventually ;)

Update on Manila #2 (part 1 - New Year's)

What a trip it has been so far, and I can’t believe it’s actually almost over in one week. I feel as if I could do a separate post on just New Year’s Eve/New Year’s since it was so unlike anything I had ever seen. So, maybe I will do just that, actually..

My family’s New Year’s Eve was spent in San Juan, which is where my mom grew up (in Manila – the capitol of the Philippines). We were with all my family, which I didn’t know I had so much family! Pretty much the whole alley/street that my mom grew up on is surrounded by family members, some I had never even met before. For dinner, we had lumpia (one of my absolute favorite Filipino foods!), pansit, pork, macaroni soup, which I think was all made by my aunt. It’s so funny being around her, because she reminds me so much of my mom. They make the same facial expressions and everything.
So to continue, after eating dinner, my uncle (we call him Tito) Boyet kept disappearing, and same with my cousin Jimmy. I found out they were going into the street, drinking and just hanging out. My dad wanted to go, and my mom wouldn’t let me because she didn’t want me around a bunch of drunken guys (for obvious reasons…). My dad decided he was going to take me anyway, along with Jimmy and my other cousin Dexter, and they’d keep a good eye on me. I didn’t drink or anything; even if it is legal here. Technically, the legal drinking age is 18, but no one ever follows it apparently – not even the law haha.
When we finally got to the area where my uncle was, it honestly was nothing bad at all. My mom is just paranoid when it comes to me, and doesn’t think I can take care of myself. Everyone there was very nice to me; yes I was the only girl around, and 1 gay guy who I guess you could consider another girl – but everyone was super nice, and was even getting me chairs and stuff. When it came to the explosives, everyone especially my Tito Boyet was covering me. Before we went out though, I hung out with my 2 cute little cousins along with my 26 (soon to be 27) cousin Grace. One of my young cousins is 6, MJ; and the other is I think 2, Jiana. I started to teach little Jiana some manners, because she doesn’t know many of those… haha – Like “Excuse me!” She is the cutest thing ever; I might include a picture of both my adorable cousins. Because yes, they are seriously cuter than your cousins I guarantee it!!!

Now to the explosions!

Ahhh.. probably my favorite part of the whole evening. The firecrackers were absolutely amazingly LOUD! In the US, it is illegal to obtain firecrackers, if I remember – but here, it is completely legal, and everyone has them. Here in Manila, you can’t have a New Year’s without tons of firecracker explosions! I have never heard something so loud in my life. With some, they are little firecrackers that you light with a match, and you wait about 5 seconds and it explodes and makes a loud noise. Those at first were scaring me, until I went to the area where my cousins and uncle were at. WOW!!! With the much larger ones that were being set off in the street where we were, were so explosive. Unlike anything I had seen or heard. With the larger ones, you hear a whistle, the kind that was in the ACME cartoons, then silence. You couldn’t really time when it would go off, because it seemed to be different with each explosion. Like the smaller firecrackers there was explosion, but this was much, much more powerful and you could actually feel it! It was so funny; when people would hear the whistle, they all new to turn around, and/or cover their ears (which I did). I also think it was a funny thing to say that I felt like a third world country being blown up, trying to explain what it felt like. But I was in a third world country, however watching an explosion – not actually being blown up. It was like the World War II movies, except no one gets blown up. They do it for fun here, and everyone is doing it!

For the rest of the night, we watched explosions, and the biggest, or I guess longest lasting one was the “Anaconda”. That firecracker was so long that I’m pretty sure it was almost the length of a football field. It went all the way down into my mom’s street, allllll the way into the actual street. It was colossal! It was like tiny firecrackers, bunched together into a huge line to make one extreme one. It went off one after the other, not all at once. For the Anaconda, I had to cover my ears. I didn’t have to close my eyes so much; it was the sound and brightness of it that got to me however I prevailed and was able to videotape it! As the Anaconda was exploding, people started to follow it, cheering and yelling. When it came to actual fireworks, it was also unlike I anything I had ever seen or experienced. Typically in the US, fireworks are seen from a great distance. The closest I had been was at Pioneer Parkway where they set them off, even though they still set them off from a distance you can’t even see, for obvious safety reasons I’m sure. HERE, when they set off fireworks, it was if not 30/40 feet from where I was standing, and it was almost like the fireworks were falling down on top of everyone and me! I had to completely crane my neck to look directly above me, because that’s what it was like. I wasn’t looking out into the distance or cocking my head just a little upward – ohhh no no no. I had my neck completely turned upward, and I don’t remember now if I felt the firework flame things actually coming back touching me – but I was definitely close enough if it did. The fireworks were so beautiful, and so big. It was spectacular.

While we were outside with the fireworks and other explosives, my dad happened to be turned around during one (he wasn’t aware it was about to go off), and we all got little particles on us. That actually happened with a lot of the explosives, and we all had little nicks on our legs from the tiny particles that hit us. My cousin actually has a huge bruise on her thigh from one! Anyway, from that extremely powerful explosive that went off, my dad was turned around and he actually got a piece in his eye. He started to move around and was kindof in shock I guess you could say, and we were trying to hold him steady to see what happened. It turned out that yes, there was a particle in his right eye, and it actually started to bleed. Sad, and ick. We brought him back to the house and washed his eye out, and the next morning it was gone and he didn’t feel a thing.

Another thing that might be interesting was, money throwing. Apparently about 20 years ago when my dad and mom came here last time, my dad started to throw money at the children, and he enjoyed watching them dive for it and everything, so he just kept throwing more and more money (US money) at them. That night, my dad and mom saw it happening again, but this time the parents from the 2nd story of the neighbor’s house were throwing down coins. My parents laughed, because they apparently started that on the street. I know there is some money giving tradition that my aunt argued was what they were doing, but I guess it never happened until my dad started throwing money that one year, and they kept doing that ever year after that.
New Year’s was so fun, and such an amazing experience. I’m glad I took videos, so you can all see, but honestly it just won’t feel the same. I wish you could all see what I sounded like the first time I heard what was then one of the small firecrackers (I basically screamed bloody murder haha!), and what everyone in the street was like. What the explosives all felt like, how it could almost push you backward. It was one of the best moments I have experienced in my life; definitely in the top 5. Or top 2 even.